?

hey people who know astrology shit. ive been having a lot of feeligs lately. any planets i can blame that on.

earth

US healthcare system be like:

What if people made humanizations of colleges and started shipping them

The AO3 tag you’re looking for is “academia anthropomorphic”.

Suspicious that you know that

I can’t believe it falls to tumblr to be the last bastion of humanity that doesn’t have stories.

To be fair, if they tried the hamster wheel that keeps this place running would implode.

I hope that “between the crematorium and the dildo store” becomes a famous saying for whenever a person has lost in the most pathetic and undignified way possible. Sort of like how we still use the phrase “crossing the Rubicon” two thousand years after the event. 

Some guy on twitter described it as “being between a cock and a charred place”

genuinely terrifying how adhd will have you be fully aware of the responsibilities you’re neglecting and yet its like you’re being piloted by a super chill hedonistic demon who can’t hear you/doesnt care

Watched a kid in line ahead of me at the store get rung up and the cashier said “your total is 18.41” and without missing a beat the kid said “ah, the year I was born” and the cashier stopped and was like “I’m... sorry???”

someone check on her

i would call the police then papa john himself

if i was bernie sanders rn i would just tweet “😏” and then shut my phone off

This is so fucking adorable omg

Mickey is short for Micholas