There's a hell of a good universe next door.

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

apparently the finance team question of the week this week is 'would you rather fight 25 squirrels or 1 kangaroo' and im like well do i get to specify which kangaroo

tho i suppose the issue with fighting the musky rat-kangaroo is the emotional cost... yes this thing only weighs 500 grams and i could probably kick the shit out of it... but the remorse... the remorse :(

i would like to add to this that our manager responded that he would take the squirrels because he's 'done it before' and when pressed said they 'hunt in packs like velociraptors'.

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

kitten fever is worse than baby fever because a kitten is way easier to obtain than a baby so it's more dangerous

you cant obtain me. tiger stance

my skills include reading an entire page of an academic text without absorbing a single word

remember in p.e. when they'd take a bunch of insecure teenagers & be like "today we're going to play basketball" and then not teach you how to play basketball. and then put you in a group with guys who were obsessed with basketball and would get mad at you for not knowing how to play basketball. why did they do that

obsessed with emily’s choice to have her character fully stand by the fact that no no no, she’s not a vampire she’s just half human half bat

never in a million years could i have predicted that payoff

FUCK. i think i have to learn blender

the humble manual smoothie maker after they break their hands:

every day i log in here and get beat up by genies

There's this video of nuns talking about their favourite things to do outside of nun activities and one of them says "ultimate frisbee" and the other one goes "and sister you are so good at that." I literally cannot get "and sister you are so good at that" out of my head. Out of all my stims this one is my fav lolol