There's a hell of a good universe next door.

no one loves middle aged women more than lesbians and the thing is we’re so right

i promise you that white man is not underrated

Someone hit me with their car and I got isekai'd to a world that's really similar to my old one except in this one my collarbone is mysteriously broken

i seem to have a lot of musical theatre dream roles for someone who can't act can't sing can't dance and also is full of anxiety

I just saw the world's freshest baby in Panera bread. Like that thing was JUST out of the oven. I've heard of being wet behind the ears but this baby was wet behind the everything. It was still damp.

a group of 3 or more clowns who are all dating each other is called a ridicule

Whenever they gave us one of those "read through ALL the instructions before you begin!" trick assignments in school where the steps lead you on an increasingly ridiculous goose chase until the final one tells you to just put your name on the paper and turn it in without doing anything else, I was always like, "Okay, but what's the point? Surely the REAL world won't be anything like this." And then I grew up and discovered that not only is the real world often exactly like that, some people won't even read the first line of the instructions even if they make perfect sense. And these people are called "co-workers"

Under my tired look, I was wearing a second, smaller tired look

the grink was there. it didnt change anything but it still matters that the grink was there.