-As a toddler exited the store, he turned around and shouted, âThank you, come again!â Until today I came here for a paycheck, but from now on, I come here for you, my friend.
-A womanâs total came out to $20.16. She remarked, âwow, thatâs a fantastic year!â I do not know what world she is living in, but it is definitely not 2016 there.Â
-I was approached by the most lethargic and morose family I had ever seen. Each of them seemed to have simultaneously just gotten out of bed and been awake for fifty-three hours straight. I understand where they are coming from, but I am not quite sure why purchasing a single can of Febreze was worth such emotional exhaustion.Â
-As I turn back to face the sad Addams family, I notice something out of the corner of my eye. The fifteen year-old son had walked around the counter and was swinging his fists right behind my head, pretending to punch me repeatedly. I had not been aware of this. This was not some strange kind of joke. He simply decided he wanted to imagine assaulting a part-time retail worker and that the best way to do so was to physically emulate it. He put his fists down and looked at me. He saw the confusion behind my eyes. I saw a void behind his. He put down his fists and backed away. I handed Mrs. Saddams the receipt and did not turn my back on this family until they were safely out of the store.Â
-A woman seemed torn, faced with the decision of either a $10 gift card or $10 off of her purchase. She did not understand that she was receiving both. Once I was finally able to convey this to her, she shouted out in joy. I am grateful to have been the one to give her this good news. I am slightly less grateful to have had my ear near her when she received it.Â
-I am brought a Twix frappuccino. Once again, my managers prove to be able to do things no human should be able to do behind the counter of a Starbucks.
-Today I learned that Cat Lady has recently overcome cancer. I learned this by watching her spot a guest in scrubs, hurriedly hobble towards him, and, with his back still turned to her, regale him with her entire medical history. I am deeply impressed with both Cat Ladyâs wide knowledge regarding lymph nodes and Scrubs Manâs genuine compassion for this strangerâs well-being.Â
-I met a woman who told me that her four year-old daughterâs legal name was Doom. This shows a great lack of faith in her moral compass, yet a great show of faith for the scale of her achievements in life.
-Noticing how differently people act at different ages has become my new favorite part of the job. A couple in their twenties had an exchange that included, âThis is my card. This is my PIN. Your hand is going nowhere near me or this ice cream.â A couple in their fifties had a similar conversation, âYou can either pay for this or sweep the floors. You have to choose this time.âÂ
-Today I was kept company by my new friend, a skeleton wiener dog. I love this dog with my life, but I question the research of the person who designed a dog skeleton with long rigid ear bones.
-While walking, I dropped a security device. In a desperate attempt to catch it before it hit the ground, I swung my hand downwards. I managed to catch the security device, but not without injuring a personal device which could have used more security. I am grateful for the years of my life I have spent pursuing a degree in theatre, as the level of acting required to not let on that my entire lower torso was burning with the flame of one thousand suns would have been nigh unattainable otherwise.Â
-As a woman finished checking out at my register, she recognized another woman a few guests back in the same line. Without picking up her things or moving, they engaged in a loud conversation regarding funerals and death. They could not have been more excited to be having this discussion. Those between them could not have been more uncomfortable with it.Â
-As my shift drew to an end, I realized that my hand was covered in glitter. To the best of my recollection, I had not touched any products with glitter at all during the day. I consider myself blessed and can clock out knowing I have been touched by the Goddess of Disco and Arts and Crafts.