Blue Plumage

Discredit Part Three! (Click on each pic for something resembling quality!) 

Part One—contains translations, podfic, and related works—Part Two

Tagging, credit, and transcript all below the cut 💜

Alright, folks. Some notes first: 

1. You all rock. I’m sending out 20k+ virtual hugs for all the notes I NEVER expected to get on this nonsense. 

2. This is probably the final section, just because I’m not sure I can adequately follow up part one and it might be foolish to attempt it here. Let alone twice. But for now, here we go. 

3. Kudos to the anon who reminded me of Aziraphale’s cash-only policy <3 

4. Nicole Y’s review is based off an actual comment I read years ago, but heaven only knows where online it was. I’ve got the memory of a goldfish. 

5. Trigger warning for the use of a queer slur in this. It’s the same review as above, number 5 if you want to avoid it. 

6. There’s a text-only version of just the reviews at the end, after all the images. I’ll upload that to my Sparse Clutter collection on AO3 in a bit. 

Bonus 7. People thinking this is a real shop deserve all the good things in this world. 

That’s all I’ve got. Hope you enjoy! 👍

someone give me validation this took forever 

7/6/19 Update: Translated into Vietnamese by the amazing @annapotterkiku

7/7/19 Update: Part Two is now up! 

8/13/19 Update: And Part Three! 

8/4/19 Update: Podfic by @rhythmelia​

Archived as plain text on AO3 and in picture format on Wayback 

Other works inspired by this one listed after the fic! 

Discredit - Excerpts from A.Z. Fell and Co.’s Yelp Page 

like here he is, being INTENSE PERFECTIONIST AND CONTROL FREAK (in a way that he isn’t, in the rest of his life) and the second one of his plants shows a flaw, even a single leaf spot, he puts it down the garbage disposal, discarding it the way he felt he was discarded????

crowley, go to therapy

go to therapy, crowley

(or possibly he did go to therapy and the therapist was the one who suggested he get a hobby like gardening and he twitched a bit and went “mmm yeah Gardening, right. i can go make a Garden for myself sure. right. it’ll be very therapeutic.” it is not very therapeutic, it is just picking at an old scab)

This remarkable letter of unknown provenance surfaced recently in the cuneiform collection of the University of West Wessex.  Addressed to Azirapil from a Mr. “Crawly,” it appears to be begging for the other’s return to Ur from a western journey with another individual, Abiraham.  The relationship between the two (brothers? business partners? friends?) is unknown, and all three names are quite unusual.  The letter also mentions a Mr. Ea-naṣir in Ur; if this is the same Ea-naṣir as the merchant mentioned in UET V 22, 29, 71, and 81, then the original letter would be dated to the Larsa period, around 1800 BCE.  However, this particular copy appears to be a scribal exercise; the writing is relatively unskilled, and the cuneiform is Neo-Assyrian in form.  It is unclear whether the text is based on a historical letter, or if its unusual names and content were invented for scribal practice.

Text:

Tell Azirapil [1]:

Thus says “Crawly” [2]:

When will your time in the West be finished?  Abiraham [3] seems very dirty, and I am weary [4] in Ur.  [There is] a talented mirsu-maker [5] on Wide Street!

Watch out, for I have acquired a new friend.  His name is Ea-Naṣir [6], and I may play wickedly with him if you do not return.  

Come quickly!

I mean, you knew it was coming, didn’t you? Another Crowley - again, can you spot the difference? <;