Plenty Of Bitch

What’s that quote? There are only two kinds of stories: a man goes on a journey, or a stranger comes to town.

Update: this tastes like if a baha blast could kill you and annihilates any ongoing anxiety attacks

Update update: comparing this to a long island is like comparing a pickup truck to a tank

They’re coming

go my smees

now that my smee euphoria has mostly dissipated I will attempt to explain this cryptic post. so in Disney channel original movie descendants 5: wicked wonderland they realized they needed a scary girl again and so they brought out captain hook's daughter hazel. and also her friends? human pets? the smees who are always referred to in the collective ("the smees") and sometimes say their own names like pokemon ("smeeee!") she treats them like a mix between lackeys and misbehaving dogs ("smees! go!") also the actors playing the smees are meant to be teenagers I think but are visibly late 20s possibly early 30s. this, combined with the sort of fever dream feeling of watching a movie that is mostly a series of amvs cobbled together with a fig leaf of plot, rendered me and my spouse completely hysterical about the smees. we were just sitting on the couch dissolving into genuine tears of laughter whenever the smees arrived on screen, which was not infrequently because this movie also had like 12 characters it was trying to squeeze into every scene. I'm trying to explain this but realizing that the fleeting beauty of smees maybe cannot be captured and I just have to cherish the moments we had together. gone... my smees...

Danku lesbiennes!

Here in the great cosmic mistake we call western civilization, vast swaths of ppl are utterly convinced that terrible misfortune either only happened in the past or only happens in other places. This is an article of faith which supercedes the evidence of their own eyes and ears. I dunno what to do with these people. Trying to talk to them about current events that are currently eventing right in front of them is like trying to talk to a cartoon elf from a tv show for babies. They're like "[thing that was literally on the fucking news a day ago] could never, ever happen here in Happyland where bad things never happen, and talking about it makes me sad. Why do you want to make people sad? :( Nobody's sad in Happyland. :)"