Lepage Glue Gun Isn't Real It Can't Hurt You

feeling charitable toward backrooms because i had overly salty popcorn and overly sweet lemonade

i think it's remarkably good for a creepypasta adaptation but is, at the end of the day, a creepypasta adaptation. case in point the backrooms having inhabitants is necessary for the themes (eyeroll emoji) and escalating plot so you can't make the movie without them, but it's the worst part of the movie

my 12 year brother is talking to his friend on the phone and trying to arrange plans to go over to his house this afternoon and was saying that our dad could drop him off maybe and i just heard him say "well i could maybe come over earlier but my dad is busy sharpening his scythe"

muffled voice coming from the phone speakers: how long till the scythe is sharp

The only thing you really need to understand about [common situation] is that it's exactly like [weirdly specific scenario with no analogue in everyday experience which the speaker clearly believes is universal], and that all you need to do is [call to action which makes several peculiar assumptions about the listener's material circumstances].

Don't be shackled by the idea that going out can only be done with a group of friends, learn to feel comfortable going alone [remembers that encouraging consumerism isn't progressive] into the deep dark woods