āI was fuming. I wasā¦ again itās not something weāve discussed enough yet, me and Zayn I mean, but again it comes back to like loyalty for me and I just selfishly Iād wished heād had a conversation with me first ācause me and Zaynā¦ Iād like to think that he would say this too, I think he would. There was times where we were, letās put it like this is a good way of describing it, on the last tour that Zayn did, we always said we would never be this band. The type of band that would have all their own individual dressing rooms. Well, sometimes when youāve got a lot of guests and stuff, it can be challenging, but we always said we wouldnāt be that band. And on the last tour Zayn did, Harry had his own dressing room, Liam did, Niall did, and me and Zayn shared. So, I think It was kind of like a testament of the relationship. So, I felt a little bit hard done by. I felt like like not like āthrow these boys under the busā, but let me know. But I thought that we had a relationship where he could have had that conversation with me. In reflection, and he hasnāt told me this, weāll see when I chat to him about it, but I think if he told me, I would have tried to tell him to stay and I think thatās probably one of the reasons why he didnāt, ācause he knew I was always very opinionated. [So, how did you find out?] That evening, the night before we found out, everything was normal. Weāre in the hotel room. We were somewhere, I donāt know where, somewhere in the world, maybe where weed isnāt legal, but we were having a joint. And everything was normal, you know, and then I think he maybe left at like 11:00. He was cool. Wasnāt like in a bad mood or anything like that, you know. Good night, lad. And then the next morning I woke up, we had a shoot with like Coca-Cola for some sponsor thing. and we found out that he wasnāt coming. Now, like I had this in me too, but like Zayn was quite prolific for it. Like this wasnāt out of the ordinary. Like if Zaynā¦ I always rated him for it, If he didnāt want to do something he literally wouldnāt do it. Like you name the thing, it doesnāt matter. If itās not right for him then he wonāt do it. So I think well then thatās probably why he left the band, you know, and thatās what I admire about him because if I was in his same situation I would have probably put six plasters on it just to hope that we can stay playing happy families, you know. I want to know if he regrets it, not in the way that like his own personal success has been incredibly successful and heās done really really well like that but he must miss it like he must do because I know Zayn really well, and Zayn has a bit of the kind of energy I do in such a way that sometimes this whole job can just be a little bit fussy. Itās just a bit fussy in general, you know, just thereās just a lot going on like now when youāre in a band, you can share that wealth. Itās like itās, you know, say they say youāre a sat an interview youāre not enjoying. You just kind of shut up a little bit and let someone else pick up the pieces and theyāll do that role. We could share the things that we didnāt like to do as much. There must definitely be times that that he misses the comfort of that for sure. But itās kind of like the elephant in the room to be honest. Itās notā¦ Iāve met up with him a couple of times recently, but itās not often something weāll discuss. But thereāll be a time for that for sure. I would like to have those conversations with him. But it crushed me, man. It absolutely crushed me. I was I was devastated because it felt like, oh, is this the beginning of the end of the band? But then also, Iām like this is my best mate in the band at the time. So, Iād lost a friend and someone in the band. Itās funny. Yeah.ā
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