💙 @plantslikeitmoist - Tumblr Blog

Funniest scene ever btw. Haha whoopsie I slipped. On the blood of this man I killed. This man I squashed like a bug. Whoopsie doodle. How silly of me

demilypyro

Your honor my client pleads oopsie daisy

memingursa-deactivated20250625

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importantcatpics

keepyourmouthshutandyourmindopen

Need one more to unlock the door

everythingnowshow

what if American Psycho was wet?

strongermonster

was visiting a friend who has a farm, and one of the chickens has a home made flared cone on, so i asked what was up with that and she said "that's diesel, and she's suicidal" so obviously i went ??? and she pressed the door lock on her truck fob so the truck beeped, and this dumbass bird SPRINTED full tilt across the garden to shove her head in the tailpipe. she has to be locked up and coned so she doesn't gulp down toxic fumes direct from the pipe for some idiot bird reason. she is obsessed with doing this and has to be locked up any time someone is using a vehicle.

strongermonster

i told her i posted about this and she has an update (which i guess content warning for animal harm [the animal did it to it's damn fool self])

she found this out the first time when she auto-started her truck to warm it up before work one below-freezing morning and came out ~5 minutes later to find (the then unnamed) diesel with her head stuffed in the tail pipe hanging limply by her idiot neck and thought that she was dead, ran over and pulled her out, and the chicken went "oh hi! anyways mind if i get back in there?" and did it a-fucking-gain??

best guess is bc she feeds her chickens with a pvc gravity pipe like this

and despite having ~40 other chickens who don't fuck this up, diesel went "food comes from tubes, this is tube, ∴ this is the ~secret~ food hole that the others do not know about. i will be rewarded with golden seed for being the cleverest of them all :)" and is now on 24/7 vehicle related suicide watch. fine line between docile and dumb sometimes.

strongermonster

my artists rendition of the morning in question

umarell

virtualgirladvance

i want to feel sorry for the poor thing but the absolute silence from the crowd is breaking me

virtualgirladvance

should have moonwalked its body off stage 2/10

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Launch my child

Mm worms in my brain

tiktoks-for-dead-pope

lilacblossoms

this kills me EVERY. TIME. I WATCH IT.

Her deadpan delivery is just... *chef's kiss*

omtai

genuinely how i feel every time

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rongzhi

Snail crossing

English added by me :)

#creature

thatneoncrisis

69ers but..... their keys

#tlt

24hourparty

how it feels being the sensitive pervert

hideki-koga

ラミーカマキリ（Ramie Longhorn Beetle ）

#creature

saintd0nna

happy pride to him

trollrider1111

Gay broke sober king 🤴

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artmialma

Ivan Pokidyshev (born in 1993)

achillesinhighheels

Private Views series by artist Barbara Crane

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