standby PANIC

Espalier allows trees to be trained into 2-dimensions, by tying the branches to a flat surface as the tree grows. They literally flatten the tree. They make the tree flat. Flat tree!!!

Look at this. This is objectively hilarious:

And people get fancy about it. Look at this nonsense:

(the first one’s called a Belgian Fence, and can be used as an actual fence)

Espalier is actually a very useful technique for

increasing fruit yield

gardening is small spaces

maximizing or minimizing sunlight (since the branches all face the same direction) and therefore extending the growing season

Like. this is a legitimately practical gardening method. but it looks like they squished a tree between the pages of a book. just squashed it flat like a sad little dried flower! i could use these trees as a bookmark!!!

But yes, it is also a healthy and clever way to grow lots of fruit in small spaces, in climates they might not otherwise be suited for. I’m still going to make fun of it, but it honestly looks delightful and delicious.

HELLO FRIENDS WE ARE BACK!