cool username :)

it’s time for demons to come out of the ground and for everyone to get special powers

Can they maybe not

you’re prejudiced against new ideas.

hey.. two people were asking about you… so i gave them your address and phone number… their names were Skeletal Warrior and Skeletal Ice Mage

wait. I just got it. he's called HIDEO kojima because he makes KOJIMA games.

in charcuterie city, you'll always be cheesed to meet your friends

I hate charcuterie city I want to go somewhere else

this is all that's left.

this is all that's left.

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

can you people stop reblogging this my notes look like lunchtime

gyahaha sorry kid, but we're looking for someone a little more [finding out you don't actually want to join the Peerage of the Carnivore Sun] wait why

[pulling back my sagely hood to reveal a second sagely hood] we've got knowledge [pulling the second hood back and an ostentatious wizard's hat decompresses before unfurling] and secrets [removing hat to reveal the skull] calavera [lifting skull to reveal smaller skull] calaverita

When I was a kid I thought Master Chief was gender fluid bc I didn't understand who Cortana was so anytime she talked I just thought it was chief being a girl for that sentence

in the dungeon you will have to face a monster with the nose of a tiger, the teeth of a tiger, the ears of a tiger the eyes of a tiger , the cheeks of a tiger , the neck of a tiger, the torso of a tiger, the arms of a tiger, the paws of a tiger, the belly of a tiger the back of a tiger, the the legs of a tiger, the claws of a tiger, the ankles of a tiger, the tail of the tiger, the mind of a tiger, and the power of a tiger

whatever. go my scallops

last night I had the experience of "referencing a tumblr post that you think is widely known but turns out to not be as widely known as you thought it was" last night and it was this post. whatever. go my scallops

im gods weakest faggot

i’m gods strongest tranny let’s team up. what if we called ourselves team rocket

im gods most literate cat can i join

I’m a straight up mob boss with a lioness for a pet, you’re all hired.

my yellow rat and I find this really offensive and problematic

wobbuffet

item world is a cute feature but also I can never explain it to anyone who hasn't played disgaea because halfway through I invariably realise I sound like I'm describing how cool it is to shrink down and go on an adventure in nutritionland

so to upgrade it, you take the item to the item world npc, and then you go inside the item and there's a dungeon inside of it and... you know what, forget it. [suddenly looking away to the floor] I don't want to talk about item world.

unrestrained summer fun

scientists are experimenting on cross-breeding a crab and a cheetah; things could go sideways real fast

I am deleting this app off my phone

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this