pixelpumpkin

For Obito, there were three absolute truths.

First, this world is rotten and needed of fixing.

Second, in this rotten world, only mercy the gods bestowed upon mankind was that Madara Uchiha never spread his genes.

Third, but not less important, Kakashi Hatake was a virgin.

He turned out to be wrong about all of those. It took him a long time to acknowledge his mistakes.

It started with a visit to Rin's grave.

Which was something that Obito didn't do in a while. Ever since the massacre, then when he was forced to be around Konoha for a while, he focused in other countries. It was not as if governments would collapse on their own—well, they sometimes did, but he didn't have time to wait for it.

He couldn't say he had a bad time last time he visited his birthplace. A lot happened, like visiting his late grandmother's favourite cafe which somehow led him to lose his virginity with a hot omega brunette named Sukea—which was completely unexpected, but definitely worth it.

It was not that Obito missed Konoha, he didn't. He simply wished to pay his respects to Rin. And his parents. And granny, because Obito was under the impression that the Tsuki no Me plan wouldn't be an excuse good enough to ignore her. Again, not that Obito was afraid of his grandmother, but he didn't want to have her haunting him anytime soon.

Granny had been a lovely woman. With a deadly glare Obito could still see if he closed his eyes.

These many reasons led him to Konoha once again.

He had a pleasant time talking to Rin and his parents and spent a good share of time explaining to granny why he had been absent for so long. Then, like all good things in his life, it was ruined by Kakashi Hatake.

First thing that came to Obito's mind when his former teammate showed up was: the audacity. Something inside of him boiled as he watched Bakashi approach Rin’s grave, but Obito wasn't that quick-tempered boy anymore, so he retracted and hide, so he could watch the scene—and complain about it for weeks later, though Obito wouldn't admit it to nobody.

Well, turned out he was about to have something worthy talking about. Because the scene that followed gagged the Uchiha so hard it almost brought up to surface his past fiery self, and he had to stop himself from gasping out loud.

Calmly, with short steps, Kakashi walked in, hands in his pockets and his usual jounin attire. Midway, he stopped. Obito's heart jumped in his chest, had he forgotten to hide his presence? Had he just blow up everything he did so far because he checked out Kakashi's butt for a second?

The answer came a second later.

“Mochi, aren't you coming?” Mochi? Who he thinks you're calling mochi, Bakashi? I'll show you the moc-

Obito didn't show him the mochi. Good thing, it'd be a drag to destroy years of work because he misunderstood Kakashi. Instead, the mochi showed itself.

Again, that almost made thirteen years old Obito Uchiha jump out of his chest to point and scream. Because the image was shocking. See, the thing about Kakashi is that it was much easier hating him when he wasn't followed by a pocket sized, round faced and wide-eyed tiny human being that had every reason to be called mochi.

Hell! That little sweet looking bunny was literally the cutest thing Obito had ever seen in his life! And he had been one of the first people to held baby Naruto, who was freaking cute with those whiskers! Yeah, Obito did kind of technically made little Naru an orphan, but it was unrelated to his appreciation of Minato-sensei and big sis Kushina's exceptional talent in making babies. He did held the “owwwnnn” during that even, like he was doing right now.

There weren't enough words to describe that girl's overload of cuteness! Gods! She walked kind of wobbly, but that might have something to do with the huge bouquet she was holding in her tiny hands—it was half her size, and wider than her, but sweet little mochi walked bravely with it. Her eyes revealed an absolutely unbothered nature, which hit Obito right through his heart. Her short dark hair flowed with the wind, and there was only one thing keeping Obito from dying of overdose of loveliness.

The fact that the girl wore a goddam mask.

Damn! It was like putting a pig costume on a puppy! Wait... No... Now that he was imagining it, a puppy in a pig costume was kind of cute too... Hm... Well! Obito could see the shadow of a pout in that little girl's face, and that god forsaken mask was preventing him from having this image, which for some reason made Obito absolutely mad. He growled slightly, then stopped himself. Weird. Usually, those secondary gender dynamics didn't take the best out of him. As a very late bloomer, he was used to keep the alpha quiet, which was good—that dude was crazy, even for Obito, you wouldn't think the things he made Obito think about late at night.

Yet, something about Kakashi and the little masked girl together made Obito's alpha really upset. Inside of Obito, that dude was making a weird dance as he gesticulated and screamed, good thing Obito turned the deaf ear to him—what could he possibly be saying that was important?

Only one thing mattered right now: who, in their right state of mind, would let a child alone with Friend Killer Kakashi? Even for Konoha's standards it was crazy, Obito doubted even the Sandaime would be obtuse enough to let it happen. Who were that girl's parents?

Obito's alpha did a double twist carp and landed in a split. Weird guy. Obito ignored him.

He put his hand on his chin, wondering who could possibly have sired such a sweet looking kid. Obito had set his eyes on that girl for one minute and a half and he had no doubts whatsoever that no cuter child has ever walked on Earth—nobody he knew could've produced her, they were all either murderers or losers or dead.

Obito's alpha drew the face of the cute brunette he met fiver years ago. Yeah, he had the potential, but that guy was too nice to even breath the same air as Kakashi, let alone allow his kid around him. No, it had to be someone else... Someone dumb... Someone dumb like...

“Aren't you late to meet your genin team, dada?”

... Like Kakashi, obviously!

That explained everythi—

WHAT. THE ACTUAL. FUCK.

World stopped spinning for a second. Obito almost fell from the tree he was hiding in.

Once again: What the actual fuck?!

Now, reformulating his past question: who was the idiot who had a child with Kakashi of all people?!

Not that he was judging (he was). It was just that... It’s Kakashi! How did he get long enough around someone to get them pregnant? And even if he did... Who?

Obito growled, picturing himself digging his teeth into an unknown throat until it's owner bled to death.

...Weird. Maybe it was Konoha's air. It always made him a little uneasy, like there was some strange scent in the air he couldn't quite tell but made it denser and hard to breathe. He should leave. Yeah, that was what he was supposed to do. He had people to kill, governments to overthrown, terrorist acts to commit in the name of the greater good. He did important things now, he couldn't keep up with the gossip in his former village.

Yet, he didn't move from the branch of the tree he had landed.

Obito had his sharingan activated, which meant that scene would be forever engraved in his mind. He wishes that girl wasn't wearing any mask, which made his heart twitch in a weird way, as if he had been stolen of something important, he was entitled to. His alpha was doing flips in the back of his mind. Weird guy...

Kakashi's little daughter—God, that was crazy to say—walked toward the grave with her giant bouquet. She put it in the ground and closed her eyes, as if in a silent prayer. Even though Obito couldn't see her face, he noticed the twitch of Kakashi's face's muscles, and he knew he was proudly smiling. For some reason, Obito liked that. He grits his teeth. He should definitely leave.

“Aunt Rin, it's me.” The little girl spoke, her voice had the same sleepy pitch as Kakashi's, and for a child that age she spoke rather clearly. She couldn't be older than four, Obito noticed, and something started to ring in the back of his mind. “Dada’s genin team passed the bells test. It's the first time it happens.” So... Kakashi was becoming a team leader. Was it a good idea? “He said there's only one more thing they need to do to get his approval.” Of course, he will do anything to run from responsibility. “They need Horin's approval.” Horin... Who even is Horin? Was it Kakashi's partner? Good, it'll make easier to track them and ki— “And I intend to give it to them. Horin always wanted big siblings!”

Ho... Rin.

The world went silent. It was her name. The little mochi.

It was Kakashi's daughter name. Horin. The audacity. He—

That stupid little—

Kakashi chuckled. It was so... sweet. And genuine. One of his hand caressed Horin's dark hair. Obito’s lips trembled, and he at once bit it. He wasn't sad, he told himself. Just mad. Mad because that... That Kakashi had a child with someone else and was bold enough to name that child after the girl he killed.

She looks so sweet... Look how she smiles with her eyes...

Kakashi don't deserve her. I should take her and raise her as my own.

Uh... Never mind.

His alpha knocked his head against an imaginary wall until he opened a hole in it.

Obito closed his hands in a fist.

“Don't be so sure you'll like then, how can you tell they're not annoying?” Kakashi inquired, picking up the little girl.

“Horin could do it in spite of you, for not giving her older siblings.”

Kakashi blushed inside his mask.

“Mochi, I was too young to have kids before you!” He said as he turned his back from the grave and walked away.

“I don't want to hear excuses, dada.” And like that, they disappeared amongst the trees, leaving Obito with the dreadful newfound knowledge that Kakashi had a kid.

Maybe Obito was hyperventilating, but it was just due to the weather in Konoha. After all, who cared if Kakashi had a kid? Like, not Obito. Not at all. It wasn't important in any way, and as soon as his body went back working Obito would return to his very important world domination agenda to never think about it again.

Yeah, he was about to leave at any moment.

So, Obito invaded a public building and was now going through top secret files.

Ok, those weren't top secret. But it was a public building. The hospital.

One never knows who he'll find looking through birth certificates of clan kids, right? There might be some juicy information to help him on his plans. Surely there was. Oh, so many interesting births. Maybe some kekkei genkai that could be useful? Yeah... Like... Oh, who knows? Hatake's white chakra? Oh, what is it? If it isn't Horin Hatake's birth certificate! What a coincidence! He might just leave it there, you know, there are plenty of...

Oh.

OH?

Obito brought the piece of paper the closest as possible from his face. He might've read it wrong.

He definitely did. This, or the doctors were absolute incompetents.

He turned the paper down, as if something would happen. He put it against the light, hoping to reveal a secret. He squished his eyes, because maybe he had developed myopia in the past few years and had read it wrong.

No, this can't be...

Obito dramatically slashed the paper against the table. He turned his back to it and raised a feet to leave. He couldn't stand any longer this Kakashi nonsense. Of course, everything about him had to be upsetting, and Obito was way to old for that shit,

He turned on his heel and picked on the paper again, activating his sharingan.

There wasn't a mistake. Unless someone had really messed up and written it wrong, which was unlikely because Kakashi himself probably had read that and wouldn't simply leave it with incorrect information. No. It was plain and clear. There was a signature in it. A fucking signature. It was an official document.

It read exactly what Obito thought it read.

Name: Horin Hatake.

Mother: Kakashi Hatake.

Father: Unknown.

Obito wasn't sure about which one of these shocked him the most.

He stared into the wall in absolute silence for five minutes. That wasn't a joke, he literally stood there for five minutes until a ninja entered the room and he freaked out and yeeted them into the Kamui. Great, he wasn't even planning killing someone that day! See what you just did, Kakashi? You killed someone!

That lying... that filthy... that...

Ugh! He couldn't even curse him anymore! His grandmother's ghost would come for him if he ever spoke an ill word against an omega. Omega! Kakashi... an omega! Obito could only remember all the times he was inappropriate around his former teammate.

He was so done. His granny would die again if she learned of it. He cursed (multiple times) in front of an omega! It was not that Obito thought badly of them, he didn't think omegas were any lesser in any way. But his grandmother was a traditional old omega lady who went through a lot. She raised him in a way in which you don't even invade an omega's personal space without humiliating yourself to them first to make sure it is okay to breath their air. Obito did much more than just invade Kakashi’s personal space...

Oh, no... Did Kakashi told his grandma how they talked to each other in a daily basis? Was she struck with disappointment and died of disgust? Did Obito accidentally kill his own grandma?

One thing was becoming a worldwide criminal, but killing his own grandma was a completely different level!

Obito looked to the dead body of the teen he had just cancelled off life. He walked past them and sat on the ground, taking off his mask as he went through all the apologies he could say to his grandma in a prayer. “I failed you grandma... I'm just like any other alpha who mistreats omegas! I'm so sorry! Please don't come pull my feet at night!”

The teenager moaned on the ground.

“Aren't you dead already?” He grunted before throwing a fireball at the Konoha ninja, then returning to his muttering. “Oh, my poor grandma... What would you think of me, now?” He hid his face in his hands.

Even though it was known early on he was an alpha, Obito had been extremely slow in growing into it. Different from guys such as Asuma or Ibiki, he didn't enter puberty as a tall and broad boy whose voice made other teens swoon. According to the doctors, it was completely normal and healthy, that the expectations for early maturations were unrealistic and based off old beliefs that more traditional people liked to spread in order to reinforce gender norms. Still, it was kind of annoying being the dead last even when it came to hormones, so it wasn't as if Obito was trying to bring up everyone's secondary gender.

Yeah, he assumed Kakashi was an alpha, what about it? Maybe they were similar in something, maybe he wasn't alone in this late puberty thing, maybe everyone's perfect genius also struggled with voice cracks! Ok, Kakashi was younger than him, but only slightly, and maybe Obito completely ignored it for his own delusions.

While alpha’s ruts (doctor's words) were expected to come around fifteen to seventeen in healthy conditions, heats usually came earlier for omegas. Around twelve or fourteen, something like that. Which meant that Obito probably wasn't around anymore when Kakashi had his first heat, and therefore he couldn't smell that Kakashi was an omega before, which led Obito to assume...

Well, Kakashi never said anything about his secondary gender, and it wasn't anyone's business to ask. But with an attitude like that, no wonder why thought he was an alpha boy. Why else he’d be so infuriating for Obito's slowly developing alpha?

But no... Turned out Kakashi had been an omega this whole time. He had been in the ANBU... He had been a ninja for so long... From such a young age... Oh, gods. It only got worse.

There was an “Unknown" below Horin's name. Unknown father... Someone had... With Kakashi.

Obito didn't know what was worse: little Horin being the result of a honeypot mission or little Horin having a deadbeat dad. Kakashi had been twenty-one when she was born, which thankfully wasn't as young as it could've been. Contraceptives could fail, of course, but Obito had a hard time imagining Kakashi deciding to keep a pregnancy from a mission. With the sort of mission, he probably was given, Obito wouldn't even be surprised.

Which meant...

There was a sudden murder feeling growing from Obito's gut to his throat, cutting through his body like a kunai. The sharingan activated again. Someone had abandoned Kaka— Horin. Obito shouldn't care, but simply picturing someone refusing to be in that little mochi's life made him burn of rage.

His alpha screamed in his shoulder. “Shut up! I'm trying to think!”

Gods... If only Minato-sensei had been ali—Well, let’s not think of it.

One thing for sure, if Minato-sensei had been alive, he would've hunt down this deadbeat father and skinned him alive, then he'd sell his organs in the dark market and give Kakashi the money from it. As he should.

Obito took a deep breath. He thought of his grandmother, who had raised a son entirely on her own, and then a grandson. She had been ostracized and segregated for years in her own clan. This world was cruel. Specially with omegas, and until this world was fixed, Obito had no choice but do the right thing. What Minato-sensei and granny would've wanted of him.

Even if from the shadows, he was not letting Kakashi down. Even if he was a friend killer who Obito hated. Little Horin had nothing to do with her mother's past crimes, she was a little pack of happiness and sunshine and Obito would kill whoever crossed her path and made her suffer.

He had no idea why it felt so personal. Really. He had the impression he was letting something slide. His alpha was moving his mouth frantically, but Obito knew better than to listen to those weird instincts that turned mankind into savages.

Obito was sure of two things. First, he had to find this deadbeat dad and make sure he suffers till he begs for forgiveness. Two, Horin was his responsibility. He would do everything in his power to keep her safe and happy.

Maybe he should kidnap her or something.

OMAKE

Obito had never been inside a Jashinist temple. It was pleasantly clean, which was surprising considering their practices. He approached the priest, and after a short talk, the guy reassured him that no sin was beyond Lord Jashin's forgiveness.

Obito didn't believe in Jashin, but after his recent discovering, he decided he needed to confess himself. Otherwise, he wouldn't be capable of sleeping at night.

So, with a heavy heart, and after a long breath, he mumbled. “I might've indirectly caused my grandma's death.”

There was a moment of silence.

Next thing he knows he is running from jashinists who are screaming insults against him.

What a way to finish a rough day.

So, I kinda created this fic in 2020 after I read another fic. Unfortunately, I have the bad habit of reading fanfictions and not bookmarking them, which means I don't know which fic was that, but the concept is the same: Obito finds out he has a kid with Kakashi. Difference is that this one is absolute crack going off vibes (I mean, I haven't rewatched the anime or reread the manga recently, I'm just trying to have fun and enjoy one of my favourite ships of all time), and the fic that inspired me was exceptionally well written and angsty. Well, there is some lore to it (that I recycled from other fics I never properly wrote) and supposedly this should be part of a series, but I won't promise anything.