You can hold the stars until they burn right through your hands

t shirt that says YOU DONT UNDERSTAND MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD and the back says NEITHER DO I

got a giant and i mean GIANT fresh-squeezed strawberry lemonade at the farmer's market today. i'm talking like a full quart with a straw in it. very delicious. five dollars. nice. as i was leaving, laden with vegetables, a young man waved at me and asked where i had acquired my immense beverage. and after i pointed him toward the stall and informed him of the various prices and flavors, he looked toward the sky, basketball shorts flapping in the breeze, and bellowed to the heavens, "oh i am gonna SLUUUUUUUURP that." happy slurp that saturday everyone.

the death of dvds is so fucked. what about bonus features

far far away idol would never happen now

dude star wars is so good and/or bad and/or mediocre sometimes, depending

Ohh so that's why they called that one show Andor

new enemy i came up with called the "false mimic" this is just some guy that hides in chests and bobs the lid up and down like a mimic breathing. he has 1 hp and if you smack the chest he starts begging for his life snot and tears running down his face

giving myself a merit badge that says SURVIVED MARCH

marvel movies are a type of microplastic. you know what i mean

i am not a religious person…….. but if you’re out there, giant rat that makes all of the rules,

Far worse, in my opinion, than the famous “he wouldn’t fucking say that” is “he WOULD fucking say that, as part of his facade, but you seem to think he would mean it genuinely”

Se also "he DID say that and he was LYING, and somehow you didn't notice."

it’s such a shame that despite the millions of books, movies, and tv shows out there, no one has EVER managed to write a woman well. yeah, believe it or not, it’s never happened, not even once! and since i’m incapable of enjoying characters that AREN’T well written, i’ll just have to keep ONLY enjoying well written men, like tony stark