Unintentionally Confused

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

Happy pride month to the filthiest most brutal read I’ve ever been given in my life

It is imperative that the customer remain unaware that employees drink water, it frightens and scares them to think of an employee as having human needs

Lancelot: Egad sire! Look at that. King Arthur: Hm, rare to see a VW Beetle this far north. Not impossible, mind.

I’ve seen you people thirst after men I wouldn’t even feed to my creature

Did he make fake walnuts out of real walnuts, or did I just misinterpret what I was seeing?

i just got summoned for yuri duty

I dropped a shit load of acid at a bernie rally in like 2016 and at one point he mentions trump so everyone boos, and I forget about the rally and im like Wtf is that noise? So I turn around and just see a gigantic crowd of people booing me

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

the sad thing about the episode where squidward teaches an art class is that spongebob receives greater recognition despite having no creative vision. his work is technically impressive, but his otherwise powerful imagination fails him, and thus he churns out derivative slop. the thomas kincaid of the sea.

perhaps it is inevitable that a young man who views minimum wage toil as A Calling would, without even realizing it, fall prey to reactionary narratives of what makes art "great." spongebob would be the perfect fascist subject - but a fascist state, ironically, could never accept him, since he is effeminate and physically weak

you really do turn thirty and everything is different and sometimes better. if you're in line for thirty stay in line bro

Overheard in a manga store yesterday: "we need more yuri in here. I've had at least 5 girls coming up to me last time asking for yuri. Everyone wants yuri now". The world is healing