talk clean to me

got too drunk last night and granted someone a boon

Sleeping poorly is so embarrassing... sorry im grumpy I stayed up past my bedtime. Like a toddler

This is stupid! Were you born yesterday? (the mayfly’s big limpid eyes fill with tears as it looks at me) oh god I’m so sorry oh no oh god

No creature on this earth has ever been hungrier than a teen chickadee being taught how to forage and following one of their parents around BEGGING BEGGING BEGGING to be fed

I arrive at the yarn store and grab a skein off the shelf, the exact same brand, type, weight and color of the one I bought a week ago. Everyone in the store immediately knows that I miscalculated the amount of yarn I'd need for a project. They start booing at me. They are throwing crocheted tomatoes at me. The old lady giving knitting lessons in the corner is shaking her head. She had such high hopes for me. The cashier spits at me when I pay for it.

Ladies get off tiktok we need you over on ebird

I P address? baby it’s called the bathroom 😂

An ant was spotted chewing a seed below decks on the night of June 12th, 1809. 200 sailors died of fright