hello! i am diagnosed with DID and have noticed a little bit of a trend with some fanfic writers, so i wanted to address it just to help people that are not educated about the disorder.

point (a); the attitude

THIS IS NOT A VALID ARGUMENT AGAINST MARC. he’s got the emotional capacity of an overripe coconut, i’ll give you that, but he is not hostile without reason or explanation. throughout episode one, most of marc’s “hostility” towards steven was purely pragmatic. in later episodes, marc’s main motivations fluctuate between emotion and practicality.

generally, he’s deduced that it’s important to keep steven at an arms length, this decision fueled by past traumatic experiences. he doesn’t want steven to be in contact with him, not just because of convenience, but because he believes that steven is the better parts of marc. to incorporate marc into stevens life would be, from marcs perspective, to introduce a more volatile and injured part of the system. this isnt just a system thing, he does it with layla, too. marc eventually pushed layla completely out of his life, but kept her at a certain length throughout their relationship. i think that marc’s secrecy has always been motivated by his instinct to separate himself into something more functional and something wounded. hence the formation of DID.

all of the above, in addition to; people who hate themselves as much as marc often lash out and push people away. a childhood of abuse and a lifetime of rejection has bred a man with the fattest inferiority complex. and major trust issues. add that to the list.

ANYWAYS, he despises emotional vulnerability, avoids conversations that might send him over the edge, refuses to rely on or entirely trust other people, feels entitled to protect others from himself, and pretends he is incapable of feeling pain and showing affection.

point (b); the mirror breaking scene

steven was being an annoying asshole.

but i guess i cant leave it with that, so ill just summarize really quickly: marc is juggling the possibility of ammit’s release, the threats against his wife and steven from khonshu, the threats of steven directed at him, the invalidation from steven, the crippling mental illness he avoids coping healthily with, and the sheer loneliness of his life for the last year or so.

stevens claims that he’ll make marcs life a living hell after marc has quite literally been living for the soul purpose of waking up, fighting, and going back to sleep? he’s a walking zombie, convinced that he has to hit one last checkpoint, finish one last mission, because he can finally disappear for good. at least, that seems to be his next course of action, all things considered.

so yea, he lost his shit when steven was yelling at him. its also important to note the efforts he made to comfort steven, talk him through the situation, and explain himself. all of which were ignored. idk, it just pisses me off that steven is allowed to feel emotions but marc somehow isnt?? mmmm.

point (c); layla

fork. i kinda already went over this, but i have way less excuses for the way marc treats layla, because shes never been anything but patient and kind. she hasn’t yelled at marc, or insulted marc the way steven has. you could say that marc hasnt been outright offensive or mean or demeaning to her, but he’s avoidant in a very toxic way.

e.i, the car conversation. “i wonder if i even know you at all!” “you don’t”. theres no rational excuse for this, the only explanation is marcs own internal compass, pointing him in the direction opposite of every other human being that might be healthy for him. he doesnt want layla near him anymore, he’s come to some kind of conclusion that he can’t have her. he’s never going to be the person she needs, because he’s never going to be an honest and vulnerable person.

if anything, i thinks its safe to assume that he honestly believes steven is a much better match, since he’s the better man. “but oh, marc was mad at steven for kissing layla!” yea duh, cuz marc still loves her. but can you really say marc thinks he deserves her? i’d even say that he doesn’t. marc doesnt rly think he deserves much at all. “i should’ve died. i should be dead.”

conclusion

maybe some of this is a stretch, maybe i’m psychoanalyzing too much, but people seem to be forgetting that marc is mentally ill. he is traumatized in a way you can’t fully heal from, you can only find the best way to live happily and healthily. even then, it’s hard, and it’ll always be hard.

i dont want to be that person that compares ppls mental health, but stevens formation quite literally leaves him without any of marcs trauma (from what we’ve seen, idk). steven is experiencing new things, stressful things, terrifying things; but he is experiencing them without the full weight of marc’s past experience. idk, i think its rly important to recognize that. steven is nicer than marc bcuz marc has learned to be hostile. steven is more open and honest with layla because marc has learned to hide. steven shows his fear and sadness because he was never forced to pretend.

bonus:

WHY DIDNT THEY FREE JAKE LMAO MY BOYS JUST LEFT HIM THERE😭😭😭

Jesus at the Gay Bar

He’s here in the midst of it - right at the centre of the dance floor, robes hitched up to His knees to make it easy to spin.

At some point in the evening a boy will touch the hem of His robe and beg to be healed, beg to be anything other than this;

And He will reach His arms out, sweat-damp, and weary from dance. He’ll cup this boys face in His hand and say,

my beautiful child there is nothing in this heart of yours that ever needs to be healed.