i love women and blood

Hi, I'm Morgan (if that is my real name), and this is my pro wrestling sideblog, @cosmic-spider (formerly @shafirakawa, eventually something else).

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I cannot express enough how insanely my interest in this match dropped when they revealed the last member of Team Briscoe was Cunt Lite Darby Allin and not, y'know, Speedball Mike Bailey?!?!?!

I was so fucking hyped for the Glom + Take + Speedball, and then they hit me with Darby and I just did not give a shit anymore.

And then like the first thing that happened was Andrade doing his stupid objectifying women bit. Boooooooooooooo!

And honestly, this whole match was a fucking rollercoaster in the worst way. A lot of stuff I loved, and then a lot of stuff I fucking hated.

Overall, I like the dysfunctional vibe of Team MJF, I like that the DCF is falling apart and Kevin is gonna get himself kicked out soon, and I like 5/6 of Team Briscoe a lot.

I think it was stupid that they introduced the "if you're disqualified, you're out of the PPV" and then didn't do fucking anything with it - like, everybody was still doing the classic disqualifiable shit, it didn't change anything about anyone's behaviour.

I liked Takeshita's broken mask in his entrance, that was fucking awesome.

I can't believe they fucking ended the match with Roddy tapping.

And ultimately, I can't believe how un-Forbidden Door this main event is gonna be. Last year's big messy steel cage finale had Tanahashi and Gabe Kidd and the Golden Fucking Lovers (the star stands for 'Fucking'). This year, I guess Andrade and Takeshita technically count as NJPW talent, that's basically Forbidden Door-y, right? What's that? Where's CMLL, you ask? Don't worry about it.

Look, I love these two, I'm glad we're finally addressing the elephants in the room, they're both great on the mic, yayayay.

But man, I am really firmly Team Swerve after that.

I just, I don't like Will Ospreay, white English guy in a football top playing the patriot card, and his pack of other white people (because unfortunately Yuta wasn't there, so that is what the Death Riders were in this one) ganging up on a couple of black men and telling Swerve to stand the fuck back and let another white guy get a shot at the big one.

Like, look, I get what they're going for, and if I was a stupid "colourblind" white person maybe I could get behind this and feel like both sides have a point. But I'm not that much of a dumbass, I can see the racial dynamics at play, and the bell in my brain that rings when it detects a microaggression was ringing off the fucking wall by the end of all that.

And I really fucking sympathise with everything Swerve was saying here! He has absolutely been fucking shafted time after time, and he fucking deserves this, and I hope he breaks that goat's neck to get what he's already earned ten times over.