phloolie

I’m literally always saying this. U have to kill yourself to just look like some guy in a shirt

Lets dissect uncle to find his wish gland

Where do you think the comma goes

artists fuck better because we turn sex into art, masterpieces, mattresses become canvases where we can paint our love to someone with bodies.

its like, impossible to come up with anything funnier than the experience of seeing this post

pharoahs fuck better because they ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh put the pussy in a scarmophogoghs

i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

taking a break from my mental health to focus on watching a tv show

nobody UNDERSTANDS this post!! this is NOT about feeling BAD and watching your COMFORT show!!! this is about feeling FINE but then CHOOSING to watch a show that makes you want to KILL YOUR SELF

There is… a lot going on here.

ill never forget the dream i had about this show on nickelodeon that was kind of like malcom in the middle and even stevens and it was called Bitchboy Naughty and like every time they went to a commercial it would fade out w/ kids singing “Bitchboy naughtyyyyyy’ i wish u could hear this tune bc its been stuck in my head for months

me and my neighbor dug a huge hole in our backyard called the hagrid pit. the goal was to kill hagrid and bury him there

*becomes a knight strictly because the local bard is cute, and I want him to write songs about me*

*becomes a bard strictly because the local knight is cute and I want to write songs about him*

*becomes the village idiot because of a chemical deposit in the well behind my house*

she doing tricks with her pussy i guess she's a vagician

Sam Handwich.