philos

yeah hey sorry its been a while but life has been uh... hectic.

lots has happened but i got a new job!!! i don't start training for another couple weeks but i'm so excited. ive already been planning on how im going to keep job security in this economy because like... we all know how that looks in america. its gonna be rough doing 12 am - 8 am BUT its the best pay i've ever received in my life. hermes (god of commerce/money aka god of "run me my paycheck") has blessed me, that's for sure. it'll be 18 an hour during the week and 22 during the weekends, which i gladly signed up for both weekend nights during the interview.

ive been doing instacart since then (ubereats took away flat rates in my area recently :/ im not wasting gas for such trash money now).

the apartment feels different as i keep sporadically spring cleaning. the magic is flowing easier, however, as built up magic is being scrubbed out of corners and cabinets. good for me and good for the intensity of the magic i wanna do. the other day i was able to create a spiritual fire in mere seconds since i energetically brought it to life. i love being able to do things like that.

i have also dealt with a spell that had been sent to me a long time ago but had never had the strength to really... do anything. The spirit that had been sent by the practitioner had just sort of... stood there idiotically in a sense and was unable to do anything. idek which practitioner sent him but it was super annoying.

im really trying to get back into magic and everyday religion but life is going to hell so i just do the best that i can and hope that i can start a routine soon. i know i keep saying it but hopefully if i say it enough it will finally stick.

goddamn its been another week already

its mainly been survival week over here in the land of philos. ups and downs all around so there's nothing too notable.

i do have the couple smaller things

anthesteria was this past weekend, the festival of the flowers :D i celebrated gaia, dionysos, hades, persephone, and hermes. i have discovered that i had to buy a corkscrew and even that couldnt get the damned cork out because it was already fucked from my diy methods. im REALLY trying to get into a religious routine for the actual daily stuffs and the festivals since i have the devotion down pat.

i didnt actually do the beginning and end to hestia as per customary ONLY BECAUSE im still trying to get into the swing of things. mama knows shes not being ignored :(

this isnt entirely religious, i do wanna get back into the magic of it all. im ever so slowly working on bridging my astral memories to my physical memory, which are slowly being filled in since im working around the oath ive made regarding the astral.

its a damn adventure thats for sure.

i wont use full names but initials when referring to those in my astral practice from now on.

r, s, z, x, and c are all gonna try and help me, they already promised they would. technically its not breaking the oath of remembering if they tell me themselves without prompting. k and e are gonna help me on that side compared to the idiots 5 trying to start from this side (but from astral, you know what the fuck i mean).

onto the little things:

im still working on the house and im starting a recycling project. my apartment complex doesn't have a recycling dumpster so everything goes in the trash here. my grandma has a recycling bin at her house and i could either use that or go to the township recycling round up location nearby and dump everything there all at once. this comes back to a few gods: gaia, demeter, pan, other gods with associations to the land/earth. even if others dont make a difference, ill make a difference. ive always recycled at every other place i lived but this is the first time i couldn't because well... the landlord doesn't sign up for it (when he easily could). (im not starting a war with him because we get very cheap rent for a nice apartment and im NOT jeopardizing that. ill just make alternate arrangements)

donating furniture! i donated three pieces just not in use at my place to the local habitat for humanity and id like to think that hestia will bless those who get those things even if just a tiny bit! it makes a home :)

donating my old computer parts. i have this windows 7 that im still using for a little while longer until i get the pictures off of it but i gave the spare/extra parts to my friend onyx who wants to get their dad a setup after stealing his computer (the dad is okay with it being old, he prefers it that way! they're gonna put windows xp on for him actually :)) ). ill give the full windows 7 to them when im completely done. while there is no 'known' god of technology/internet, the name 'nexos' keeps coming to mind when i muse about it. mayhaps? who knows. it definitely brings their dad a little treasure.

hitting the gym! i gotta get these gainssss and i wanna feel better losing some weight (i am a very heavy guy). while obvi theres no like 'gym god', apollo was known for his athleticism and how he often won over other gods in the godly olympics. the olympic cycle was something taken very seriously in ancient greece. i had started studying it a while back but never got too far, so i need to get back into it.

i dont wanna make it seem like im finding signs in every little thing- that's never the idea. its just thinking about the things in my life to them to get a better understanding and have a more all around view.

lets hope i make more progress next week.

so

right i didn't get jack shit done barely this week. i had to leave the toxic job i was at because they were targeting me (most likely for being a trans man in a man dominated company) and about to fire me anyways. ive been uber delivering for now and i have interviews this week and all that shit.

life is fuckin exhausting tbh

im very thankful for all thats been falling into place but i cant help but feel lesser than when everything else that happened came into play. losing friends. losing the girl i liked out of nowhere. realizing just how much my family are monsters.

looking back this week, however, there are ways that i can associate certain key things to a certain deity and how to incorporate them into my everyday life.

financial aid coming in for school: athena and astaroth (at least for my practice)

im going back to school to become a funeral director/embalmer. i had originally tried school but had to leave due to mental health reasons getting me so far behind. i just got an email this week saying i dont have to pay anything this year. scholarships, grants, and loans covered everything. astaroth promised to help me achieve my academic goals, which i have a feeling its attributed to him. i think its very helpful that my program is held at a smaller regional campus, which is only 60% of the normal head campus tuition, and its semi-nearby (about 30-45 minutes away).

being able to doordash/uber eats and get around in general to have independence: hermes, apollo, and hekate

all gods of the crossroads. i think hermes provided the biggest clutch up when my grandma decided to buy me a used car outright from a dealership a few weeks back. i do uber delivery and ive not encountered one problem especially in the 'risky' neighborhoods in this part of my state. ive had only very minor issues with uber delivery tiers because of technicalities. ive had near run ins with idiots who dont know how to drive but i have either blessings or the maddest reflexes in the world.

cleaning up the home: hestia and zeus

within the household worship, zeus has a couple epithets in regards to the home. erkeios and ktesios. zeus ktesios is really the one more in reference here, as ive done a LOT of donating/buying new(/necessary) recently. my space is finally becoming my own instead of clothes that barely fit and make me feel dysphoric (my grandmother would buy me womans clothes that barely fit and made my skin crawl and would claim there's no difference when there was a MASSIVE difference). furniture that is comfy. things that i actually use. i donated all my clothes and towels to a planet aid box after getting some new stuff to hold me over until i can get more in the future. ill be getting rid of extra furniture in the spare room that i don't use by donating to a local habitat for humanity. recycling anything that i can by taking it to the scrap yard. im making my home a home and all the towels/clothes/furniture i donated can help make another person's home. i still have little projects to do around the place but its still a work in progress.

overall, its a very big transitional period in my life right now (its not even the saturn return period for me yet- *cries*). i want to be more creative this year as well, as i have always been into creative writing since middle school. i want to actually publish books which i have the ideas for i just need it down on paper.

as soon as i can get these things out of my house and get the small things done, the sooner i can get started on those things and learning the information for the classes so i can breeze by them come august.

so this year (despite being at the end of february) i want to hold myself to new discoveries and thoughts about my spiritual journey along the way.

im gonna do this in a weekly post on sundays, which would be the end of the week for this instance. so my first post will be march 1st.

and its not gonna be one of those preachy things but its gonna be like little updates and ways for me to look back. like what did i do this week that made me learn more about the gods? one of the goals this week will be learning more about the oikos household gods associations in an applicable way (tending to the home, the wellbeing of the home, how taking care of small projects (ie smoke detector batteries) changes the energy of the house, etc). anything else that is applicable will be talked about, where things about work might pop up (i work at a factory 48 hours a week and doordash about 10-15 hours a week), things about government issues im running into (irs, public assistance, etc), and others.

my witchcraft/astral practice will be applied as well as we go along.

i am some people.

may hestia bless us all this year with what we need to go into our best era of our lives.

like yeah, some people say money bowls or stirring intention into your coffee and what have you.

but have you ever thought about making an energy and dream battery where you can take the energy burned/collected around you to power your spells?

have you ever used magic in your favorite games?

have you ever used magic to manifest that you would get free food or extras at fast food somehow?