plot twist: i actually died many years ago this is just a queue

if i look back, i am lost
Claire Keane

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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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plot twist: i actually died many years ago this is just a queue

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me in my head at the supermarket: nobody is ever going to fucking love me. omg 25% off
biologists will be like this is a very simplified diagram of a mammalian cell
chemists will be like this is a molecule
okay but this is what the best render of a human cell looks like
They are not kidding
We are full of so many fuckign guys
i do not ghost purposely i just have no idea what to say ever

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you’ve probably seen the jokes about how archie andrews from riverdale went to war, but the producers refuse to say what war it was
but i’m here to tell you that the reliality is stranger than you could possibly imagine unless you watch the show
this is archie’s dress uniform
(the tepia overlay is present every time he wears it, i have not altered the shot at all)
this is archie and his buddy in the trenches, in their combat uniforms
yes I said trenches. that screenshot is from a flashback archie has to a member of his platoon loosing a leg to enemy shells in no-man’s land. (he specifically calls it no-man’s land)
Okay, so it’s WWI. That’s deeply weird, given Riverdale takes place in more or less the present day (there’s a weird amount of old-timey tech, but everyone also has iphones and laptops, so we can assume the old tech is people being retro), but it’s at least an answer
but it gets weirder.
because we know what country archie was fighting in. his deployment was in uzbekistan.
now despite it being called a world war, not every country was involved in the first world war. uzbekistan did not fight on either side.
because the country didn’t formally exist until 1991
so in whatever parrallel universe riverdale takes place in, new york and the town of riverdale exist essentially in the present day, the soviet union has fallen, but former soviet union countries are still fighting a war which should have ended more than 100 years ago.
so that’s bonkers, but i’m not done
in the episode in which archie decides to join the army, the school digs up a time-capsule from the 1940s and opens it. inside is a picture of four riverdale high students who were shipping out to the army the day after the time capsule was burried
the ghosts of these four WWII soldiers then appear to archie, convincing him that he should join up and fight
so to be clear, archie fought in the first world war, in a country which did not exist during the first world war, because he was told to by the ghosts of soldiers from the second world war, a war which could not have happened yet because the first world war is apparently still ongoing
and also it’s the present day and archie owns an iphone
Absolutely nothing about Riverdale has intrigued me until this moment, y’all.
Absolutely everything I’ve learned about Riverdale has been against my will.
Absolutely everything I’ve learned about riverdale has been more and more confusing to me.
my beloathed. my insignificant other. my worstie. my stupid rabbit. my fucked up abhorrent little meow meow
Just why? via Shitty_Car_Mods
Get this off your blog, this car is great.
CHANGE YOUR BLOG URL
this is still my favourite tweet of all time
As a clown I refuse to do sexy stuff in my real actual clown outfit because that is for the kids but I have a separate clown outfit for sexy stuff.
You’re a role model and a legend
Separation of church & state

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When you carry all the grocery bags in one trip
when the,. when,, then the pu, the pus, when - when you- the
i have been diagnosed with the killer combo of lovey dovey disorder & sleepy bitch disease
i have a rare form of synesthesia where i can hear music
your baby as soon as these come off
Lizards...they’re just little dudes
Sometimes depending on where you live you can just go outside and there’ll be a little dude there, scurrying
Just a little dude can you believe this
oh my god i didn’t even think about their little bones

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It’s like I have this disease that makes me place online orders
no one talks about the ADHD symptom of being extremely kissable. it makes me sick