THE PETTY PUMPKIN PATCH

🖤 🔮✨😈 Surprise, b*tch...It's open enrollment at Miss Robichaux's Academy for Exceptional Young Ladies and even though we've graduated, we're back for more shenanigans as we mentor young witches (and pumpkins) with a rewatch of AMERICAN HORROR STORY: COVEN! The characters are iconic, the plot is peculiar and the laughs (and trauma) are supreme, so put on your best blackest black garb and your pointy witches hat and let 'em know who's the baddest witch in town 🚬💀🕯️🎃

🩸✨🥀 We're watching THE VAMPIRE LESTAT (the long awaited third season of INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE) and it's serving vamp glam, sexy golden locks and the new chairman of The Tortured Poets Department. Lestat stole our hearts long ago and we don't even want them back, we just want front row tickets to his show! The era is his, and we're LeSAT! 🧛‍♂️🎸🍷

Thanks for a great season everyone! See y'all same time next week for a first time-watch of Queen of the Damned (2002)! 🖤🤭

It's time for a Petty Pumpkins un-vaulting! It's our first time watching LAKE PLACID where the crocs are thicc, the dialogue is feral, and nobody seems qualified to be handling this situation 🛶🐊🚁 Take a bite out of this (previously Patreon-Exclusive) ‘90s creature feature with sharp teeth, sharper comebacks, and one very familiar face acting veryyyy suspicious! 💚 just don’t stand too close to the water... 💧🥽

We're geared up for an adventure with a lovely group of gals, as we descend into a quaint little cave deep within The Appalachian Mountains- in our first time watch of THE DESCENT! Surrounded by darkness and the dank musky air of dread, we were NOT prepared to battle the unknown cave-dwellers that left us screaming to be put out of our misery — So click play on this claustrophobic, cult classic flick that left us catatonic and utterly sick 🏔️🧗🔦😨💀🩸⛏

The Petty Patreon Vault was feeling adventurous once, and THE DESCENT won a $10 Piping hot tea tier poll, but now, the crawlers are doing what they do best and crawling out of the vault and onto our YouTube channel!

🩸✨🥀 We're watching THE VAMPIRE LESTAT (the long awaited third season of INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE) and it's serving vamp glam, sexy golden locks and the new chairman of The Tortured Poets Department. Lestat stole our hearts long ago and we don't even want them back, we just want front row tickets to his show! The era is his, and we're LeSAT! 🧛‍♂️🎸🍷

💋💀🔥Beauties are dropping dead left and right, Pumpkins... we might be the only beautiful people left in sight in this explosive commentary on the most problematic, pathetic, patriotic, pageant you've ever witnessed. DROP DEAD GORGEOUS, and we MEAN IT! You'll be screaming "die b****, the crown is mine!!!" in no time! 💥👑🔥

We're jumping heart-first into a binge of the critically acclaimed Netflix series Heartstopper! 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ These reactions were originally filmed in 2023, but now we've thrown our Heartstopper Season 2 reactions into one binge-worthy video in preparation for the new Netflix film HEARTSTOPPER FOREVER! ❤️🧡💛 Happy Heartstopping!💚💙💜 Get ready for the Paris trip!🗼🥐🇫🇷🥖

✨ We purchased a One Wish Willow and Pumpkins... our wish came true! The most admired movie of the year smashed onto our screens like a brick to the face so we're finally watching OBSESSION! The rules are simple—just make your wish. Break the stick, it'll come true quick! 🩸🖤💋

🩸✨🥀 We're watching THE VAMPIRE LESTAT (the long awaited third season of INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE) and it's serving vamp glam, sexy golden locks and the new chairman of The Tortured Poets Department. Lestat stole our hearts long ago and we don't even want them back, we just want front row tickets to his show! The era is his, and we're LeSAT! 🧛‍♂️🎸🍷

🥀 📿We've said our prayers and we're awaiting our fate — It's our first time watching THE OMEN (1976) and in our newly un-vaulted, previously Patreon-Exclusive we're damned to... a good time! Damien might be the antichrist, but he'll always be Slaymien in out hearts! ✝️🙏🖤

✨🌀🦉 Don't go that way! Never go that way! Go this way into our first time watch of Jim Henson's LABYRINTH, a twisting, turning dark fantasy adventure that has us seeing David Bowie in a whole new fright, and following a young Jennifer Connelly through every inch of the magical, musical, glittering maze. This isn't a phase, so click play and let The Goblin King show you the way...🔮👑✨

It's time to re-traumatize ourselves with a little trip to Sweden for the Midsummer festival from Hell. Pack your bags and take a deep breath as we re-examine Ari Aster's instant classic Midsommar, where the hills are alive with the sound of screaming! 🌸🍄🌼🐻🌺🔥

🩸✨🥀 We're watching THE VAMPIRE LESTAT (the long awaited third season of INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE) and it's serving vamp glam, sexy golden locks and the new chairman of The Tortured Poets Department. Lestat stole our hearts long ago and we don't even want them back, we just want front row tickets to his show! The era is his, and we're LeSAT! 🧛‍♂️🎸🍷

We're gearing up for Summerween with a marathon of Jordan Peele's work, we recently posted our commentary on the Academy Award winning film GET OUT! 😵‍💫 and now we present a commentary on US! Jordan Peele's sophomore sizzler. Please join hands with your tethered and have a seat as we Pumpkins Across America enjoy one of the wildest movies to hit the horror scene and yes, you must snap and/or clap every time Lupita appears on screen 🤭 🐇🧍‍♀️🧍‍♀️✂️

Join US or GET OUT! Either way we're saying no no no no no no no no no no no no NOPE!☁️✌️

👻😂 We're bringing our Scary Movie reactions back from the horror comedy graveyard for Summerween with a first time watch of SCARY MOVIE 4! We don't hold grudges, but we do frolic in the village and escape an alien invasion (and a SAW trap 🪚) while surviving a disaster movie scarily reflecting our current state of government... 🇺🇸🔥

The Scary Movie franchise has always been the blueprint for horror-comedy parodies, but this installment is downright prophetic. So grab the popcorn and get ready to churn your own butter for it because Brenda's arms got tired and she's busy getting it on in a room in which there are no others 🧈🍿😈 😏🔪

🩸✨🥀 We're watching THE VAMPIRE LESTAT (the long awaited third season of INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE) and it's serving vamp glam, sexy golden locks and the new chairman of The Tortured Poets Department. Lestat stole our hearts long ago and we don't even want them back, we just want front row tickets to his show! The era is his, and we're LeSAT! 🧛‍♂️🎸🍷

🛸 Things are getting extra terrestrial as we settle in for a first time watch of CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND. Fascinating and frenzied, Steven Spielberg's take on unidentified flying objects had us beamed all the way up and ready for a ride beyond the stars! 📡✨👽