â
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Janaina Medeiros
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shark vs the universe
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trying on a metaphor
Show & Tell
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YOU ARE THE REASON
@theartofmadeline
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I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
romaâ
DEAR READER
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@pessimisticbee
YELLS OKAY can i request a Soft Jonmartin thing (bc you're so great at them) with a one-word prompt... take your pick from either a) Flowers, b) Rain, or c) Waltz gjlkfhj any one of these is fine!!
THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FLUFF BUT IT GOT SAD
SEE HOW ANNOYING IT IS MARTIN
one day i will end this hell and just have them kiss but tim interruptedÂ
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Can you give me a random fact about something?
brussel sprouts grow like this
young me would eat that like corn on the cob
youâve grown cowardly in your old age
Baby armadillo.
Humans will pet anything.
How wonderful, then, to live on a planet full of creatures that like to be petted!
â How wonderful, then, to live on a planet full of creatures that like to be petted!â
It truly is.
i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like âwow humans are fucking wildâ and took it
Humanityâs first contact with Vulcans was some guy going âIâm down to fuck.â
Vulcansâ first contact with Humans was an emphatic âSure.â
@sineala
#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan
âsirâŚtheseâŚthese humansâŚthey greet each other byâŚâ *glances around before furtively whispering* âby clasping handsâŚâ
*prolonged silence* âoh myâŚâ
âsirâŚsir how will we make first contact with them? surely weâŚwe cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??â
*several pensive moments later*Â âcontact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, heâll put his hands on anythingâ
Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: ââŚ.my day has come.â
The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Yâall just be makinâ up names for characters that already have names.
Bonus: hereâs a screencap of Solkar doing the âmy body is readyâ pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochraneâs hand:
I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are âdistant xenophobesâ or âhorny on main for humanityâ. Also apparently this guy is Spockâs great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.
Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkarâs descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so Iâm not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkarâs descendants and humans, but Iâm also notâŚ.notâŚ.saying that.
actual footage of first contact makeouts
The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes CockraneâsâIâm sorry, Cochraneâsâhand⌠The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual⌠It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkarâs part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.
Thatâs why heâs so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar canât believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him canât believe how good it is.
I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkarâs pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochraneâs firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.
No wonder Solkar is all like, âTAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.â
And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.
Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.
#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)
Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture
Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: donât tell me how to do my jobÂ
This is my favourite Star Trek post, complete with headcanons, corrections, the truth coming out of her well to shame Spock even. Seriously perfect fandom work.
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how many people could be working on actual problems in the world instead of being forced to do jobs that they are over-qualified for just because they dont want to go homeless and starve?
climate change is threatening to kill us and people with biology degrees are working at starbucks if they didnât get lucky in the nepotism department.
capitalism is possibly the least efficient way to allocate work.Â
You love artâhave spent your entire childhood developing a style people love and appreciate? you could possibly work to improve the lives of millions with your beautiful creations?
sorry you need to work 12 hours a day at a walmart that doesnât need you while some billionaire who took a painting class once sells some ugly bullshit for 3.5 million.
Millions of people want to be doctors but canât afford medical school, it is a well known fact we donât have enough doctors for the demand. hmm wow real efficient capitalism.
âI am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einsteinâs brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.â - Stephen Jay Gould
Capitalism and wealth are bankrupt concepts.
Roomba literally just sitting in a tub of water while Pepe holds down her towel.
You... called a cat Roomba?????
Yeah my boss forgot that I'm banned from naming cats. Roomba is blind and beeps a lot so she just kinda moves along until she hits a wall. She also grooms any cat she bumps into.
Op why are you banned from naming cats? Cuz naming that sweet little baby Roomba is fucking accurate af and hella cute
I have been banned SEVERAL times.
1. i named a cat Potato.
i donât see a reason to explain why i named him that.
2. i named my three-footed kitten Yardstick
3. i named this kitten Kickstand. His leg was permanently stuck in that position, like a bikeâs kickstand. i mean, it was until it got amputated.
4. I named a kitten with many toes Terry Toetopolis. also featuring Kickstand again.
5. i called a kitten âbastardâ so many times that it was the only one heâd respond to. in my defense, he was 100% bastard.
6. a coworker and i had a game going to see how many kittens and cats we could name after harry potter characters before we were caught. (7. the answer is 7. âHedwigâ is the name that got us caught)
i think thatâs it, but i might be forgetting a few incidences.Â
dude are you fucking kidding me i do watch cooking shows like this
Everyone I know watches cooking shows like this
the swarm approaches
Other fried monstrosities served at the Texas State Fair. Amazing.
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Boromir: But⌠Aragorn: Heâs a dick, Boromir. Legolas: He really is. Aragorn: Your dad is a dick too, Legolas.
Pippin: So we are in agreement, eight to one, that Gimli is the one person with a cool dad. Gandalf: Well I for one still belive that my- Aragon: Shut up Gandalf God doesnât count.
Snowy deer
I am 100% convinced that âexit, pursued by a bearâ is a reference to some popular 1590s meme that weâll never be able to understand because that one play is the only surviving example of it.
Seriously, weâll never figure it out. Iâll wager trying to understand âexit, pursued by a bearâ with the text of The Winterâs Tale as our primary source is like trying to understand loss.jpg when all you have access to is a single overcompressed JPEG of a third-generation memetic mutation that mashes it up with YMCA and âgunâ - thereâs this whole twitching Frankensteinian mass of cultural context we just donât have any way of getting at.
no, but this is why people do the boring archival work! because we think we do know why âexit, pursued by a bearâ exists, now, and we figured it out by looking at ships manifests of the era -
itâs also why there was a revival of the unattributed and at the time probably rather out of fashion mucedorus at the globe in 1610 (the same year as the winterâs tale), and why ben jonson wrote a chariot pulled by bears into his court masque oberon, performed on new yearâs day of 1611.
we think the answer is polar bears.
no, seriously! Â in late 1609 the explorer jonas poole captured two polar bear cubs in greenland and brought them home to england, where they were purchased by the beargarden, the go-to place in elizabethan london for bear-baiting and other âanimal sports.â Â it was at the time run by edward alleyn (yes, the actor) and his father-in-law philip henslowe (him of the admiralâs men and that diary we are all so very grateful for), and would have been very close, if not next to, the globe theatre.
of course, polar bear cubs are too little and adorable for baiting, even to the bloodthirsty tudor audience, arenât they? Â so, what to do with the little bundles of fur until theyâre too big to be harmless? Â well, if thereâs anything we know about the playwrights and theatre professionals of the time, itâs that they knew how to make money and draw in audiences. Â and the spectacle of a too-small-to-be-dangerous-yet-but-still-real-live-and-totally-WHITE-bear? Â what good entertainment businessman is going to turn down that opportunity?Â
and, voila, we have a death-by-bear for the unfortunate antigonus, thereby freeing up paulina to be coupled off with camillo in the final scene, just as the comedic conventions of the time would expect.
youâre telling me it was an ACTUAL BEAR
every time I think to myself âhistory canât possibly get any more bananasâ I realize or am made to realize that I am badly mistaken
Not just an actual bear. A polar bear cub.
Imagine a fully grown man running offstage to be âkilledâ by a baby polar bear.
exit, pursued by bear. i.e. THE BEST STAGE DIRECTION OF ALL FUCKING TIME
#relatable
i donât think we acknowledge enough that when children want to be treated âlike adultsâ what they really mean is âlike peopleâ
this is just my own observations of course but 90% of the time when a kid tries to get people to treat them like an adult, what they really want is the respect and acknowledgement that they associate with adulthood - because thatâs what they must give the adults. they have to give that to the adults in their lives, but the adults never give that same respect back, and so they see that difference and decide that they want to be treated âlike an adultâ
and sometimes i see parents who are like fine you want to be treated like an adult then you can work and pay rent but thatâs the exact OPPOSITE of what the kid is actually asking for. youâre just belittling them, clearly intending to punish them for daring ask for your respect, clearly intending for them to break down and beg to be âtreated like a childâ again because you purposefully twisted their wants. they ask for respect, and you give them abuse.
never, ever, ever, treat a child like a full grown adult. itâs our responsibility as adults NOT to, because they ARENT adults no matter how much they think they want to be, and itâs our job as adults to take care of them.
that said, ALWAYS treat children like people. because they ARE that. theyâre real people with real agency acting as best as they know to with what knowledge they have
itâs not a matter of kids trying to grow up too fast, itâs a matter of kids wanting to be treated like people instead of objects or pets.
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do other spoonies take their âfavoriteâ or âmore importantâ meds first even though theyâre all important and theyâre all just gonna slosh around in your stomach anyways but in ur heart the order truly matters ?
time sensitive meds first, supplemental sodium last
otherwise, smallest to largest
....unless I'm on a limited run med (like an anti-biotic, or my 3 months of blood thinners), then those always go first
for my last meds of the day, whatever sleep aid I take goes either first or last, but never in the middle
and one-shot meds (like a dose of NSAIDs or my nausea medication) go last if I am taking them along side any regular meds
Hardest to swallow, then most important in case I get to the point my swallow reflex stops working before I get to the end of the pills (itâs happened a few times), then easiest to swallow last.
All at once... Do they all get stuck in my throat? Yes. Do I often end up spluttering and choking on the ridiculous amount of ridiculously large pills in my mouth? Yes. Do I still feel the need to take them all at once? Also yes.
