HP for XP

Booty shorts that say "This Machine Kills Fascists" across the ass

Seriously though like, I missed the boat on this whole radical honesty thing. I guess everyone wants to be true to themselves now? That’s…great…but like you’re really only ever going to meet a select few people you can be totally honest with about everything. Lie to strangers! Lie to authorities! Like damn didn’t you have parents that told you never to tell people on the phone that you were home alone? When the interviewer asks if you ever experimented with drugs, you say no! This is not a therapy session! He’s got no business asking you that anyway! Lots and lots of people are not entitled to your vulnerability. Damn.

I follow my grandmother’s rule: it’s only a lie if they have a right to know.

IT’S ONLY A LIE IF THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOW

@shitpostsampler have you done this one yet?

Every so often when I'm closing a door with my feet or laying on top of a counter I recall the distinct memory of being roughly four years old, telling my mom with complete confidence that a mouth was basically a third hand, and whenever I feel the exhausted echo of her voice going "no, not really" it only solidifies my belief that I should have been born a raccoon

the two massive spiders living in opposite corners of my bathroom moved into the same web last night happy pride month everybody

aaaaand the arson fandom has gotten ahold of this post, as the gods intended

thrawn is so funny bc he doesnt really have personal stakes in the whole thing he doesnt think the empire is the best thing ever he doesnt like have a grudge with the rebels hes literally just there to fuck around and find out. like thats his official mission

The fact that he’s the happiest about School of Rock, and the fact that School of Rock is my ultimate comfort film, makes me very pleased

He is right though, because of this movie he starred in “rock schools” opened all over the country. A lot of music lessons in general took a shift from traditional music based to teaching kids how to be in a band. I took piano lessons as a teen at one of those schools and the teacher taught me out of a lesson book but also taught me how to play a Dresden Dolls song. His movie changed/modernized music education, I’m so glad he’s most proud of that movie.

It's a fantastic point, but John Boyega's net worth also puts him at $6 million. When he says eat the rich, he isn't safe either...

if you’re having a shit day, know this: my local zoo has an alpaca named alpacino.

john mcafee is gonna die in a spanish prison and never tweet with his own hands again :/

FUCK

Date of Origin: December, 2020

due to not wanting to, i will not. thanks.

fuck people who guilt trip, i will cry

This also goes for “no [whatever] will reblog” and “I bet all the [whatever] people will ignore this post” Well I’m gonna ignore it now, honey