yβall know that john mulaney quoteΒ βthe things crazy people say mean nothing to them but everything to me?β
every time i hear that quote, i think about how i got this light-up pen
i got this pen four years ago when i was working as a barista at starbucks. I was on the registers and taking the order of this woman, who ordered a nonfat latte, because she wasΒ βwatching her weightβ
so this guy behind her, whom no one was talking to, for some fucking reason saysΒ βwathing your weight?Β but what about the wait for your watch?β (which is a completely unhinged response. like just complete Mad Hatter nonsense)
anyway this lady gets really uncomfortable and of the five people (me, him, her, the other checker, and the customer at the other register) who were now sucked into the uncomfortable silence, i decided that i should alleviate the tension by sayingΒ βyou canβt wait for a watch; you donβt have the timeβ
and then he said βoh, quick girl!β, gave me that pen, got out of line, and left without ordering anythingΒ
You pleased a mad fae trickster
i am absolutely certain that pen will undo any curse or enchantment places on whoever it shines on.
Reblog the pen of quick wit to undo any curse or enchantment placed upon you















