Parrot Personified

Being a henchman suuuucks dude. This latest guy I'm working for, the War-Madillo, he's got a, an Armadillo- motif, or theme, or whatever, right? That's fine, fine, I did a two-month stint with a Marmoset-themed guy once, it's not bottom of the barrel- except. Except. It turns out, he picked the Armadillo thing because he thinks that they're obligate carnivores. Which they kind of are, I mean I googled this, they're insectivores, but he thinks that they're like, land piranhas. He thinks they work in packs to take down significantly larger animals. He thinks they lay eggs in the remains of their prey. He's killed like three guys for trying to correct him. Me and the other guys are paying out of pocket to get the poor little guys in his Armadillo pit food that they can actually eat. Every time he drops some sucker into that thing we all have to draw straws to see who's gonna have to go in and gnaw on the body so he thinks the Armadillos are doing it. Thank god it's such a long drop

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listen, man, I don't appreciate this kind of pressure. I'm posting as often as I can. I spent this morning shoving store-bought eggs down a dead guy's throat. Some of us have jobs, man

Crazy how much of that was just one, continuous shot.

Also, props to them for making everyone look competent. Yeah, it’s clear that the heroes would wipe the floor with any of the villains in a one-on-one fight, but the villains aren’t actually trying to defeat them: they dramatically outnumber the heroes, and all they need to do (apparently) is for one of them to get away with the MacGuffin, and that’s a much more tenable goal. Having the extended action sequence also be an intense game of keep-away makes it much more interesting than your typical “everyone beats each other up” fight