entj: it's recommending me people from my hometown...

isfp: you probably have their phone numbers.

entj: I've never had these people's numbers.

isfp: weird.

entj: it's like when TikTok recommends that girl you were friends with at 5 years old and never saw again because she moved to a third world country for legal reasons.

isfp:

isfp: would that be me?

isfp: finally.

entj: I'm going to tell him everything I think about him. he should be grateful, actually, 'cause I think he'll never meet a person as honest as me. I'm obviously too much for him. my personality's too strong for his. and I have different priorities now. he's a fly to me, nothing more.

isfp: I want to see his reply. man, I feel so involved in this relationship, I can't wait to see how it ends.

entj: I think you're more involved than me.

isfp: and more involved than him.

entj: you're the only one in this relationship.

isfp: lol. anyway, my boyfriend just sent me a picture of himself and he's so cute!

entj: am I bothering you?

entp: yes.

entj: nah.

intj: it feels like it doesn't have any meaning.

entj: and in the long term, it won't satisfy us.

intj: so, we end it here?

entj: yes.

intj: okay, goodbye.

entj: bye.

entj: *hears a knock on the trash can* entp, stop.

entp: ?

entj: *hears another knock after a couple of seconds* entp!

entp: I swear I'm not doing anything.

intj: it comes from inside the can.

entj: inside?

entp: wait, let me look. oh wait, there's something in a plastic bag that's moving!

entj: what is it?

entp: I don't know. it could be a fish.

intj: a fish?

entj: is there some water around here?

intj: there's a river nearby.

entj: oh, entp, take the bag and let's take the fish to the river before it drowns.

entp: *takes a stick from the ground to take out the bag*

intj: wait, is that a fish?

entj: I think so. what could it be?

entp: okay, I'm having second thoughts. I don't think that's a fish.

entj: why not? *gets closer, there's something slimy and LONG in the bag* oh, fuck.

entp: what???

intj: it's a snake.

entj:

entp: *completely drunk* I don't want to fight anymore, I love you.

entj: 😐

esfp: *hearing the conversation* isn't this the first time he tells you that?

*after 10 minutes, in the group chat*

enfj: I got lost.

entj: already??

esfp: well, at least I have a boyfriend.

enfp: well, at least I don't have to hide the fact that I've cheated on him several times.

esfp: *stops and looks at entj in the eyes* do you want some too?

entj: *sends photo to isfp*

isfp: oh my god, I'll show him to my boyfriend.

*in their chat*

entp (isfp's boyfriend): whose hamster is that?

isfp: entj's. and it's a guinea pig!

*in isfp and entj's chat*

entj: wait, let me show him to my ex too.

*in the other chat*

entp (entj's ex): did you start breeding hamsters?

entj: where's esfp?

isfp: *points behind a bush, where esfp and infp are... you know*

intj: where's enfp?

entj: oh, swimming in the fountain with a duck.

enfp: *takes away entj* I need to tell you something.

*outside*

entj: so?

isfp: we just wanted to go to another club.

entj: oh, okay. let me tell entp-

enfp: you'll tell him later.

*entj, enfp and isfp go to the other club. entj receives a text from entp*

entp: if you didn't want to stay with me tonight, you could've just said so, you know?

entj: I did. enfp took me away to tell me something.

entp: you could've stopped her. I'm still in here. I'll wait for you?

entj: oh, no. we went to another place. can you guys come here?

entp: oh, really? what do you think I am, a dog? do I have to follow you like a puppy?

*entj, furious, leaves the club, walks alone for 10 minutes to reach entp*

entj: *in front of everyone in the club* enfp told me she had to tell me something. I wanted to let you know, but I literally didn't know how to handle the situation. and don't you dare disrespecting me again, are we clear?

entp: oh... yeah, hahah, didn't expect you to react this way. wanna have sex?

entj: no, not really.

esfj: oh, yeah. it's because you're a taurus.

estj: I'd really love to, but I don't think I can make it.

esfj: what's the reason?

estj: *replying after 2 hours* my car broke.

*in another chat, with entj*

entj: he definitely did it on purpose.

esfj: like, he broke his car on purpose?