haphazardly posting shit

HI darling,

I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:

Home

what the hell is a mortgage?

first apartment essentials checklist

how to care for cacti and succulents

the care and keeping of plants

Getting an apartment

Money

earn rewards by taking polls

how to coupon

what to do when you can’t pay your bills

see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill

how to save money

How to Balance a Check Book

How to do Your Own Taxes

Health

how to take care of yourself when you’re sick

things to bring to a doctor’s appointment

how to get free therapy

what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment

how to make a doctor’s appointment

how to pick a health insurance plan

how to avoid a hangover

a list of stress relievers

how to remove a splinter

Emergency

what to do if you get pulled over by a cop

a list of hotlines in a crisis

things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Job

time management

create a resume

find the right career

how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters

Travel

ULTIMATE PACKING LIST

Traveling for Cheap

Travel Accessories

The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase

How To Read A Map

How to Apply For A Passport

How to Make A Travel Budget

Better You

read the news

leave your childhood traumas behind

how to quit smoking

how to knit

how to stop biting your nails

how to stop procrastinating

how to stop skipping breakfast

how to stop micromanaging

how to stop avoiding asking for help

how to stop swearing constantly

how to stop being a pushover

learn another language

how to improve your self-esteem

how to sew

learn how to embroider

how to love yourself

100 tips for life

Apartments/Houses/Moving

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)

Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)

How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)

Education

How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)

How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)

Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)

How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)

Finances

How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)

How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)

Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)

What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)

Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)

Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)

How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting

How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)

How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)

How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)

10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)

Life Skills

Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)

Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)

What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)

Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)

How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)

How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)

How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)

Miscellaneous

What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)

Relationships

Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)

How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple  and catastrofries)

Travel & Vehicles

How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)

How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)

Other Blog Features

Apps for Asshats

Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders

Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later

Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)

Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)

Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)

Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)

Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)

Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)

Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)

Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)

Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)

Adult Cheat Sheet:

what to do if your pet gets lost

removing stains from your carpet

how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps

throwing a dinner party

i’m pregnant, now what?

first aid tools to keep in your house

how to keep a clean kitchen

learning how to become independent from your parents

job interview tips

opening your first bank account

what to do if you lose your wallet

tips for cheap furniture

easy ways to cut your spending

selecting the right tires for your car

taking out your first loan

picking out the right credit card

how to get out of parking tickets

how to fix a leaky faucet

get all of your news in one place

getting rid of mice & rats in your house

when to go to the e.r.

buying your first home

how to buy your first stocks

guide to brewing coffee

first apartment essentials checklist

coping with a job you hate

30 books to read before you’re 30

what’s the deal with retirement?

difference between insurances

Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:

Reasons to move out of home

You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:

wishing to live independently

location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university

conflict with your parents

being asked to leave by your parents.

Issues to consider when moving out of home

It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:

Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.

Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.

Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.

Your parents may be worried

Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:

They may worry that you are not ready.

They may be sad because they will miss you.

They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.

They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.

Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.

Tips for a successful move

Tips include:

Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?

Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.

Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.

Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.

Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.

If your family home does not provide support

Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.

If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.

If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.

Where to get help

Your doctor

Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800

Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44

Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325

Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277

Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50

Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577

Things to remember

Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.

Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.

Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations. 

(source)

I REPEAT Ao3 IS DOWN UNSCHEDULED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL

We are continuing to investigate reports of slowness and errors when trying to load AO3, including errors saying that AO3 is down.

Refer to our status page for more information.

Refer to our status page for more information.

Refer to our status page for more information.

Refer to our status page for more information.

Refer to our status page for more information.

Refer to our status page for more information.

Gaza is still bleeding !!!!

Donation link for a family from Gaza

People keep saying there’s a ceasefire but every single day we wake up to another explosion, another family destroyed, another name added to the list of martyrs. I’m writing this because the world thinks Gaza is “calm” now.

It’s not. The bombs didn’t stop. The drones didn’t stop. The funerals didn’t stop.

During this so-called ceasefire, dozens of people were killed. Homes were burned. Children were pulled from under the rubble. You’ll see the photos I’m adding below - all taken during the “pause”. This is what our reality looks like.

My own family is suffering too. We lost relatives. We lost our home.

312 Palestinians have been killed, entire families wiped out during a time that was supposed to bring safety.!

Here is the donation link for my family’s emergency fund:

https://chuffed.org/project/145440-help-anass-family-survive-and-rebuild-after-gaza-war

If you can’t donate, please reblog, share, tag people.

Your support is literally life saving for us.

Thank you for not looking away.

Thank you for keeping Gaza alive in your heart.

Our account :

Medium

X

What is aftercare?

Aftercare is the emotional, mental, and physical support given to someone after a scene, especially one that is intense, vulnerable, or taxing. However, aftercare is an essential part of sexual activity in general–not just BDSM scenes–as it's a mutual expression of vulnerability and empathy after engaging in sexually charged activity.

Examples of Aftercare

Cuddling

Blankets, soft clothes, and warmth

Water and snacks

Gentle praise and reassurance

Taking a shower or bath together

Journaling to decompress in silence

Giving each other space if requested

Checking in the next day

Applying ointment to bruised or sore spots

Talking through what happened and how it made you feel

Why is aftercare important?

Scenes can trigger intense physiological and psychological responses as endorphins, adrenaline, and dopamine spike during play. These neurotransmitters and hormones drop, causing individuals–most notably submissives (sub drop)–to experience exhaustion, shakiness, disconnect, or anxiety.

Aftercare softens that landing as an individual comes down from the "high" of play. It helps partners rebuild trust and restore emotional balance in their relationships.

Aftercare Looks Different for Everyone

There is no one-size-fits-all formula for aftercare so it's important that you and your partner(s) discuss what works best for you. Some people might need to be held in silence, while others need praise and reassurance. The key is to know what you need and communicate it clearly to your partner(s).

What if I don't know what I need?

When you're just starting out in kink, or you're playing with something new, you might not be entirely sure what aftercare works best for you. It's important to know that is completely normal. Sometimes you might not even feel the effects of play until hours or days after, so remember to give yourself–and your partner–grace during this journey.

Start simple and try out different things you like, such as:

Asking for water and a warm blanket

Writing about your feelings after play in a journal

Discussing the scene with your partner

Letting your partner know when, or if, you feel "off"

Can I give myself aftercare?

Yes! You may between partners or choose to explore BDSM alone. Solo scenes, masturbation with kink elements, or the emotional processing of fantasies still require gentle, supportive self-aftercare that can help build a solid understanding of your needs when you do engage with others. Some things to try/consider include, but are not limited to:

Taking a warm bath

Journaling your feelings

Wrapping up in a soft blanket

Meditation

Speaking kindly to yourself

Watching a comfort movie

*Self-awareness in kink is just as lengthy of a journey as it is in your vanilla life, and your needs will evolve the more you play and reflect/discover your identity. Even long-term kinksters are still learning and discovering things about themselves and the lifestyle.*

Different Types of Play Require Different Types of Aftercare

I always specify that aftercare is deeply personal and will look different from individual to individual, but it's important to note that certain scenes require certain aftercare considerations as types of play effect the body and psyche differently.

Impact Play

Impact play often leaves the body sore and adrenaline-drained so it's important that you and your partner are addressing those needs together. Consider physical touch, cuddling, cleaning any wounds, ointment, hydration, warmth, and creating a calm environment for both individuals to level out.

Degradation or Humiliation

Degradation and humiliation may create emotional bruises, so aftercare should focus on healing those wounds. Consider gentle words, reaffirming love and respect, and focusing on reinforcing the value you hold for your partner(s).

Fear Play or CNC

CNC comes with many risk, but grounding and emotional reassurance are likely the two most important things to take into consideration. You have to distinguish reality from fantasy and re-establish safety and consent with your partner(s).

Rope Bondage or Restraint

Rope bondage can cause physical strain and emotional vulnerability. It's important to consider untying your partner slowly, massaging their body, helping them stretch, checking circulation, and spending some tender quality time together.

Discuss Aftercare Before the Scene

Aftercare should always be a part of your pre-scene negotiation. It's an act of love and consent that shows your partner you care about how they feel after play just as much as you do during play. Some questions your may want to ask include, but are not limited to:

What helps you feel grounded again?

Do you like physical touch after a scene?

Would you rather talk or just rest?

Do you tend to drop later?

Debriefing

Having conversations with your partner(s) after a scene, or a day or two later, can help strengthen trust and make future scenes safer and more fulfilling for those involved. Some points to discuss include, but are not limited to:

What felt good

What didn't feel good

What surprised you

What could have been done differently

Aftercare Doesn't Always End After a Scene

Drop, or emotional echos, can hit hours or days after a scene. Don't assume everything's fine just because your partner smiled at the end of a scene. Follow up and check in with each other. Hold space for processing any emotions you might experience as they come up. Remember to communicate. Communication is essential in kink, and you should always feel that you can openly and honestly communicate with your partner.

What is Drop?

Drop refers to the emotional and physical crash that can happen after a scene, play session, or intense emotional exchange. Both dominants and submissives can experience Drop. It's a natural response to the intensity of BDSM, not a sign that something went wrong. Drop can look like:

Sadness

Exhaustion

Anxiety

Detachment

Shame

Irritability

Disconnection

Guilt

Feeling uneasy without knowing why

Why does Drop happen?

BDSM scenes are emotional and chemical peaks that demand trust, adrenaline, vulnerability, and intense physical experiences. Once the scene ends, your body and mind recalibrate resulting in a crash.

Sub Drop

Sub drop is the most commonly discussed type of drop. It occurs when a submissive's body comes down from the "high" of a scene. Aftercare ensures that a submissive can come down from the "high" of a scene in a safe and supportive manner. When the chemicals released during play come down, crash can look like:

Emotional vulnerability

Shakiness

Crying or anxiety

Physical fatigue or soreness

Feelings of rejection, worthlessness, or confusion

A sense of "what did I just do?"

Dom Drop

Dom drop, while less talked about, is just as real and important as sub drop. Being in control, guiding someone's vulnerability, and managing a scene is mentally and emotionally intense. Aftercare ensures that a dominant can come down from the "high" of a scene in a healthy manner.

Dom drop can be triggered by:

The weight of responsibility

Fear they went “too far” in a scene

A sense of guilt after a degradation or pain-based scene

Emotional release from being intensely present and controlled

The sudden loss of power dynamic when a scene ends

Symptoms may include:

Guilt or shame

Emotional fatigue

Depression-like symptoms

Disconnection or numbness

Questioning themselves or their role

Tumblr being so invested in it’s relationship with AO3 is not what I imagine for 2025 but here we are 🤸- you know what to do people, make it to No 1!!!