Overthinking Much

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings – and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL’s history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, in a long post, I work my way through Nadao Bangkok’s cinematic motherlode: ITSAY. Thanks to everyone for your patience with this post: I did major due diligence with it, with the absolutely TREMENDOUS help of @telomeke, @lurkingshan​, @wen-kexing-apologist​, and @bengiyo​ to ensure I had facts and analysis correct. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to these dear friends for holding me down and offering your sharp eyes.]

To dive into a topic as complicated, as beautiful, as reflective, as impactful as a macro-analysis of I Told Sunset About You is to take on…a lot. As I’ve discussed with @lurkingshan, from a filmmaking perspective, as so many of us who have watched ITSAY know – it occupies the top spot of Thai BLs by way of pure cinematic quality. (If you follow my late-night liveblogs, you’ll know that this was the first show – not even Bad Buddy did this to me – where I needed to stop multitasking, to just sit and watch the episodes. No drama has done that for me in the years since I became a multitasking mom.)

As with 2gether and Still 2gether last week, this watch of ITSAY is a definite milestone on the OGMMTVC list, and I really thank @shortpplfedup, @bengiyo, @wen-kexing-apologist, @lurkingshan, @telomeke, and others in advance for what we’ve talked about in direct conversation regarding ITSAY, its many influential tentacles, and the influences that the show itself may have come from.

I’d like to touch upon a couple of frames to structure this piece, but the caveat here is that by no way will I consider myself an ITSAY expert, because there’s a tremendous fandom that knows much more about the Nadao Bangkok studio, about PP Krit and Billkin Putthipong, about the director and screenwriter, Boss Naruebet, and much more. I will have a substantial postscript to capture loose notes and learnings that didn’t make it into the main analysis. 

Inspired in part by direct conversations with @telomeke and @lurkingshan, I’d like to dive into the following: 

1) From a question that @lurkingshan posed to me: what shows from the start of the OGMMTVC watchlist – and, more broadly, what art out there – do I think spoke to ITSAY and its development, 2) The important story of Chinese migration to locations like Phuket, Penang (in Malaysia), and other locations on the Malay Peninsula, and how Chinese and Thai-Malay-Chinese-Peranakan cultures flavored ITSAY’s storytelling, 3) A discussion of internal and external homophobia on Teh’s experience, and how his conversation with Hoon encapsulated our understanding of homophobia, filial piety, and socioeconomic pressures in Teh’s particular life, timeline, and culture,

and more, I’m sure. Let’s boogie.

I warned some folks prior to this review that my thoughts on what may have spoken to ITSAY may turn some people off, so I offer this as a flare to y’all in advance. Acknowledging that episodes three and four of ITSAY were as emotional as anything I had ever seen in Asian BLs, Teh was just such a PERFECTLY written character. (The ITSAY supporting documentary episodes state that the show was in part inspired by Billkin’s and PP’s personal lives, and I know there’s fanon that the show was meant to deeply depict their personal stories with each other. I don’t have primary source material to point to regarding this, so I’ll leave it alone, with the understanding that there are interpretations of the show that read between the lines to bring that lens in. I acknowledge the existence of the theories, but will not dive into that here.)

So, in regards to Teh, as I chatted with @lurkingshan as I was watching the series, I just kept thinking to myself… hello, Fuse. 

CHAOS BOYS! (Fire Boys? No, no, chaos boys, ha.) 

This is where I think my analytical read might get a little controversial with folks, because to compare Make It Right to ITSAY – from a LOOKS perspective, CERTAINLY from a storyline and narrative structure perspective – no, it’s not there, not by a long shot.

But when I wonder about what ENERGIES and inspirations opened the door for Boss Narubet to WRITE the way that he wrote, and to DIRECT the way that he directed, Teh’s ENTIRE EMOTIONAL PROCESS AND BREAKDOWNS, his back-and-forth, his hesitations – I saw chaos, and when I think of chaos, I think of Fuse.

I think of Fuse, and how Fuse was held back, particularly in Make It Right 2, regarding Fuse’s CULTURAL AND SOCIAL ASSUMPTION that he couldn’t break up with his girlfriend, all while being in a nascent give-and-take, back-and-forth relationship with Tee. And how that ASSUMPTION held BACK the full expression of commitment, honesty, and trust that Fuse and Tee ended up having at the end of MIR2. Fuse was being rather unsophisticated while he was struggling with this, and he was bringing Tee along, frustratingly, for that ride.  

Something that you said to me also really resonated, @bengiyo, in conversation with @lurkingshan, about comparing TeeFuse and TehOh, in that Fuse and Teh weren’t necessarily SPARKLING or GIFTED presences. As you two both pointed out to me: Teh had to work much, much harder than Oh-aew for the talents that Teh achieved, and somehow, chaotically, he managed to lose his grip on those talents and achievements as he gave up his hard-earned opportunities for the sake of the overall-better-off Oh-aew. MESSY, BRO.

Besides MIR/MIR2, there’s somewhere else where I saw chaos. @bengiyo, you pointed out to me that you felt that you saw more of Thai queer cinema in ITSAY than in BL. I don’t think ITSAY *doesn’t* speak to BL and vice versa (I don’t think there’s anyone who thinks that, considering what Nadao Bangkok achieved with this show), but when I think of chaos – and of the structures of storytelling that allowed us to get such an in-depth experience of Teh – I also think of 2019′s Dew the Movie, and to a different extent, the before-its-time show in 2019′s He’s Coming To Me. 

ITSAY, Dew, and HCTM have:

a) multiple chaotic leads (including actual ghosts and dudes who see ghosts),  b) overarching cultural backgrounds rooted in extremely specific Asian cultures and/or practices and/or time periods, and c) interplays of emotional revelations vis à vis those specific cultural backgrounds.

 - Fuse introduced to us, way back in 2016 and 2017, an internal holding back of an emotional engagement with Tee that was rooted in internal homophobia by way of his negotiation with what Fuse’s girlfriend expected of him, and what HE expected of HIMSELF regarding HAVING a girlfriend, while falling in love with a young man. 

- Dew featured two young men in chaos, in 1990s rural Thailand, one of whom (Dew) who had previously lived in a different city where, likely, his sexual orientation would not have been met with such dystopic scrutiny as it did in the movie. The movie made clear that Dew wanted a solid relationship with Phop, but with both Dew’s and Phop’s families and cultural expectations holding them back, they both met untimely and unfortunate ends that hammered, in extremes, the perils, in cinema, of being gay and out in an incredibly restrictive and old-fashioned Asian society.

- HCTM featured a young man (Thun) who could see ghosts, along with the ghost that he ends up falling in love with (Med). The revelation of Thun’s being able to see Med is deeply connected to Thun’s Thai-Chinese Buddhist practices, and how his family has engaged with spirituality over the course of his life. While the structure of the show has often been described as having a happy ending, I argue the opposite – that the ending is left open-ended, as it so often is in some of P’Aof Noppharnach’s shows, with the assumed understanding on behalf of an Asian audience that Med will one day be reborn and will leave Thun’s side (unless he’s reborn into another person that knows Thun) (hello, Until We Meet Again). 

So what do all of these shows/movies – ITSAY, Make It Right/MIR2, Dew, and HCTM – have in common?

ITSAY, Dew, and HCTM have the common background of an old-fashioned culture serving as a MAJOR anchor to their stories. Their stories are leveraged by the micro-level, individual-level interplay between their main characters and old-fashioned worlds, complete with old-fashioned notions, assumptions, and expectations. ITSAY, Dew, and HCTM negotiate boundaries with these cultural guardrails, and we see – Teh at the end of episode 4, Thun on the rooftop in episode 5, Dew talking to his mother – what those expectations and boundaries have done internally to our dear young men. 

Make It Right’s Fuse, way back in 2016, internalized this slightly differently, without us seeing as deeply the WORLD in which he grew up. The directors and screenwriters New Siwaj and Cheewin Thanamin gave us a guy in school with a girlfriend. FUSE’S world, that we see, is a school world, so apropos for that time of Thai BLs, complete with very heterosexual expectations for a young man WITH a girlfriend. And Fuse struggles with his push-and-pull throughout the two seasons.

What I love about the OGMMTVC project is that by having watched these projects before ITSAY, I can somewhat predict what the journey of chaos, by way of internal revelation, will be for these characters. 

However.

What ITSAY DESTROYED for me, as compared to these dramas and movies, was the high level of acting that Billkin leveraged to get Teh to the emotional levels that he reached. Teh, episode 4, and Thun, episode 5 = handshakes. 

This is where ITSAY’s structure just brings ITSAY to the top of the cinematic list and runs away from everything else. I posted in my liveblogging that the ending of episode 3 blew me away with a subversion of the four-act structure of screenwriting. @bengiyo corrected me to say that it was, instead, a rare example of Thai BLs achieving a successful five-act structure. 

Just – fuck. 

You combine this UTTERLY FUCKING BRILLIANT STORYTELLING STRUCTURE, NARRATIVE STRUCTURING PAR FUCKING EXCELLENCE, ALONG WITH BILLKIN’S PORTRAYAL OF TEH IN HEAT AND CHAOS, and I’m eating, fam. Five-star Michelin tasting menu-level. 

But before I start that meal, there’s even more that ITSAY did to really hammer in what I’m referencing by way of the anchors of old-fashioned culture to this story, which, clearly, Boss and Nadao Bangkok value, in the show’s indirect commentary on Chinese culture and migration in Thailand, and what it meant for Teh and Oh-aew to grow up in Phuket and prepare to leave for Bangkok. (If you haven’t watched ITSAY, I highly recommend that you plan on watching the supplementary documentary material, because those docs give a ton of insight into the Thai-Malay-Chinese background of the show. As a SE Asian homey, those revelations gave me the wonderful warm and familiar vibes.)

Dear @telomeke (I don’t know what I’d do without you, friend!) helped me to understand, back in my HCTM days, that I inherently know more about Chinese migration, immigration, and culture into Southeast Asia than I previously gave myself credit for as a part-Malaysian, because many of the migratory patterns and cultural assimilations are similar between Thailand and Malaysia. I appreciated that confirmation, and had my inspector’s hat on during my watch and rewatch of ITSAY. 

I’ve spoken with @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm about the impact of migration and diasporic existence, in that, I think, oftentimes, immigrants to another country often hold a more conservative view of the cultures they bring with them – in order to hold onto the tenets of those cultures, and to keep those tenets from getting influenced or maybe even watered down by the new environment in which immigrants are living. (My example to Shan and NBW was that I find that South Asian immigrants are often MORE conservative than my relatives in my homelands – so as to keep a tight grip on assimilation, or, say, moral/ethical weakening by way of Western culture.)

I think the background of Phuket and EVERYTHING it lent to the show…

- Teh’s mom selling Hokkien mee at a stall storefront and the boys eating it in Teh’s old-fashioned house, - The old-fashioned o-aew dessert shop, selling a Hokkien Chinese dessert, which is often preceded by a shot of the “Phuket Old Town” sign, - Teh’s mom’s traditional Chinese-Peranakan outfits, particularly when she’s celebrating Teh and Hoon’s successes, - The tight streets and alleys,

…all of it, visually and culturally, reminded us that the boys live in a world that was DEEPLY INFLUENCED by the way back when. I posit that Teh’s mom is the encapsulation of this kind of old-fashioned culture, from the architectural style of her Hokkien mee stall, to the clothes she wears, to the heavy decorations and rugs and furniture of her old-fashioned house – to her old-fashioned notions of filial piety that both her sons will be successful and will help to take care of her as she ages. I posit that this old-fashioned mindset also likely led Teh to believe that Teh’s mom would not accept him for liking men, which I will delve into more in a bit.

I mentioned cultural assimilation earlier: I brought up Penang, Malaysia, earlier, because I’ve spent time in Penang – and Penang was referenced by Boss in the ITSAY documentaries as being similar to Phuket by way of cultural structure. @telomeke educated me on the tin-trade-influenced links from Phuket to the Malaysian towns of Penang and Kuala Lumpur, all towns that experienced heavy immigration from China and feature the strong presence of Chinese-Malay-Peranakan cultures in their social fabrics. The Peranakan population developed when the first Chinese immigrants to these regions began marrying the local ethnic Thai and Malay residents, creating a brand-new culture, complete with unique foods, clothing, architecture, and much more. 

Having not been to Phuket yet, I believe Boss. As well, I want to note – very important to me as a part-Malaysian – that Boss referenced Teh’s nickname as the Malay word for tea. @telomeke​ noted for me this distinction as one that’s notable for how ITSAY differentiates the culture within the show – again, a culture that’s influenced by Chinese and Malay migratory history – against the backdrop of Bangkok, where tea is not “teh,” but rather is called “cha,” the Thai word for tea. [The most famous “teh” drink of Malaysia is teh tarik, a sweet, creamy, and strong tea drink that you see everywhere in Malaysia. While o-aew is a distinctly Chinese-style dessert, teh tarik comes from Indian immigrants to Malaysia (and is usually drunk with roti canai, another Indian import to Malaysia)]. 

In other words: we are talking a TREMENDOUS, a TREMENDOUS amount of references to cultural mixing, development, and assimilation here, all INTENTIONALLY placed by Boss Narubet and his screenwriting team – and all of this serving as a reflection against what Teh and Oh-aew will experience as being “different” in their futures in Bangkok, where this Thai-Chinese-Malay cultural differential will make them different when they get to college. (Not having seen I Promised You The Moon yet, I wonder if IPYTM sets up Teh and Oh-aew as potential country mice, à la Ji Hyun and Joon Pyo in The Eighth Sense.)

One more pertinent note of cultural intermixing by way of the historical Thai-Chinese-Malay linkages. @bengiyo was surprised that I didn’t initially exclaim at the presence of hijab- and songkok-clad Muslim women and men eating at Teh’s mom’s Hokkien mee stall; Teh and Oh-aew’s friend, Phillip, is also shown with his Muslim parents. It’s funny, @bengiyo, as I said to you: because I was watching ITSAY with such a trained eye towards spotting the Thai-Chinese-Malay cultural mixing, seeing Muslims on screen did NOT ring a bell of differentials because – I expect to see them there, in those kinds of spaces, anyway. (In fact, seeing Muslims on Thai television is rare, which I will get into more in the postscript.)

So we have: MANY CULTURES MIXING OVER MANY GENERATIONS. Migratory patterns intertwining. Indications of physical and emotional movement. And even though, and even DESPITE, these cultures mixing, we ALSO HAVE an OVERARCHING message of old-fashioned customs and ways of living that dominate the lives of the children in the show – ESPECIALLY Teh. Teh and Oh-aew – literally, their NAMES reference places ELSEWHERE than Phuket and Thailand. Phuket’s old-fashioned roots. Teh’s mom SELLS a dish that comes from somewhere else (the Hokkien Chinese population mostly hails from Fujian, China, as its origin).  

What happens with migration and immigration? Cultures collide and combine – social mores and expectations change – one’s standards of HOW TO LIVE ONE’S LIFE changes. 

Teh and Oh-aew, during the entire series, are facing a moment in time where THEIR lives, THEIR cultures, THEIR micro-interactions WITH THEIR cultures, ARE GOING TO CHANGE, definitively, by way of their burgeoning same-sex relationship. Teh and Oh-aew are already different in Thailand by way of their cultural backgrounds, as I’ve established – and now, with a potential public revelation of their relationship, will they be even more different. And their families – especially Teh’s mom, but Oh-aew’s family as well – are going to collide with the very PRESENT present vis à vis their boys and their love. 

As this happens with migration and immigration, CHANGE WILL HAPPEN vis à vis Teh and Oh-aew’s queer revelations as well. 

Boss focused on the aspects of Phuket that were anchors to the culture that Teh and Oh-aew were raised in – an immigrant culture, a migrant culture from China, that has had a long hold over many, many towns and societies in Thailand. We didn’t see the modern 7-11s that we know are there in Phuket, serving the tourists of these towns. 

And, just like the physical dystopia of Dew, and even vis à vis the spiritual practices built into He’s Coming To Me, the slice of Old Town Phuket that we SAW as that anchor was a HEAVY PRESENCE in Teh’s life – it was PERFECTLY matched with the old-fashioned, conservative ANGER and DISAPPOINTMENT that we saw in Teh’s mom in episode 4, when Teh shares that he dropped out of university for Oh-aew. That anchor, to me, was meant to SMASH into, FEED into Teh’s overwhelming emotionality at his queer revelation, and at the revelation that serving his mother via filial piety would be automatically made more difficult, thus maximizing the impact of his internalized homophobia and his fear of recognizing his love and attraction for Oh-aew.

COUPLE THAT with the previous hints – and then the SMASHING WRECKING BALL – of the visual depths of Oh-aew’s own realizations earlier in episode 4, his own internally different place, the way he reveals himself to the world vis à vis the fast Instagram post of him wearing the red bra. And how Teh reacts to it. And how it sets off such an unreal chain of emotional unraveling for Teh, the SECOND of that episode, even before he goes to Bangkok to drop out. 

WHOA.

THIS, TO ME WAS FUCKING STUNNING

and very important to me to see as a South/Southeast Asian. WHEW.

And, good lord. How Hoon comes in at the end for Teh. Hoon, the eldest son, the one who has very quietly borne the financial responsibility that his mom, Teh’s mom, too, has placed on Hoon’s shoulders, naturally, through generations of family custom. (Super duper thanks to @lurkingshan for talking me through this in detail with me.)

And Hoon gives his family, his little bro, Teh, comfort. How Hoon says, listen. Mom’s gonna be mad if and when you tell her about Oh-aew and your feelings for me. But guess what? She’s gonna come around. You’re a crybaby, Teh, but I’m here for you.

Hoon knows that Teh’s mom will come around – because Hoon is also a part of the next generation of change, much like his Thai-Malay-Chinese-Peranakan community before him – as he brings his Japanese girlfriend home to his mother and brother. (THANK YOU, @wen-kexing-apologist, for pointing this out!)

Teh’s mom, too, will move. She will move from her old-fashioned mindset, to migrate to a new mindset, where she will accept her son. Teh needed to hear that, to know that that movement would be possible.

Just like the movement of the many swirling cultures around Teh and Oh-aew, the hustle of Bangkok before them, nipping at their lives like the ocean to the beach. 

What ITSAY captured for me was a cinematic moment of movement on so many levels. It was a pulsating reflection of change. It was meant and designed to insidiously shock viewers out of complacency. Like a beanstalk climbing from the ground, the movement begot movement to these two young men beginning to address and empty themselves of the homophobia that kept them back, Teh especially. 

GAH, THEIR MOVING PHYSICALITY, IT NEVER STOPPED – the end of episode 2 on the boat, the end of episode 3 in Teh’s room, GAWD – Teh’s ABSOLUTE HORMONAL DRUNKENNESS, Oh-aew’s STARE AFTER STARE AFTER STARE, Oh-aew’s SILENT DEVASTATION AT THE END OF EPISODE 3, the way Teh would nod and FLOP his head uncontrollably in desire, the nuzzles, the sniffs, the uncontrolled reaches – GAH. It gives me the shivers. 

It was a lot.

ITSAY was just – y’all know it. It was fantastic. While HCTM was before its time, I feel that ITSAY was RIGHT ON TIME. It brought so many elements of this GORGEOUS, HISTORIC, culturally Southeast Asian experience into the intersection of the queer lens, as well as the *migratory* lens of the Southeast Asian region specifically. It showed us, from a micro-perspective, the very tremendous macro-level implications and pressures of filial piety, of internalized homophobia, of the huge socioeconomic expectations that families have on Asian students to succeed in education, and so much more. IT WAS *DEFINITIVELY INTERSECTIONAL*, MORE SO THAN ANY BL BEFORE ITS TIME.

Yet again, for me, just like Bad Buddy, just like Until We Meet Again, I have another show in my arsenal that makes me proud to be an Asian watching these shows – and in ITSAY, I feel particularly proud that a slice of my own personal culture, as an Malaysian, made it in there, intentionally. I will FOREVER, and ever, be grateful to ITSAY for that.

——-

I’d like to offer this postscript as a means of making some quick points that @telomeke, @bengiyo, @lurkingshan, and @wen-kexing-apologist shared with me as I was writing this review – and I thank them all deeply for reading drafts of this post before publication. 

1) I was previously unaware of the history and current state of Islamic culture in Thailand until ITSAY and Be My Favorite included women wearing hijabs in their shows. This is an important slice of culture for me to know about, as I’m part-Malaysian, where Islam is the dominant religion. @telomeke shared with me that the majority Muslim population in Thailand is in southern Thailand (although, of course, Muslims live across Thailand), and that there have historically been separatist efforts in those southern provinces that have often led to violence. 

There are many reasons why discrimination of Muslims exist in Thailand, as it does around the world, including references to the separatist efforts in the southern provinces. As well, ethnic Thais can trace their heritage back to various towns and communities within China, thus possibly making northern Thailand, with its proximity to China, potentially more lauded in Thai culture, and contributing even more to a perception that southern Thailand, with its Muslim population, as potentially “less desirable.” (And I want to take a second to note @telomeke​‘s excellent point to me that “Chinese” as a catch-all word is often incomplete, as Han Chinese make up a sizable portion of Thailand’s population, but as we see in ITSAY, the Hokkien Chinese population also flourishes in certain parts of the country, and there are populations of Teochew and Hakka Chinese as well, as there are in Malaysia.)

All of this combined – the geographic proximities to China, the places where various populations have settled, from the places that various populations of Thais track their heritages, plus global and/or popular misconceptions and stereotypes of “other” communities – can contribute to discrimination of Muslims in Thailand. Of course, that is not a universal statement, as we do see Muslims beginning to show up in Thai drama art, which is heartening. To me, it strikes me as more realistic for the region to see Muslims on screen, but I don’t know Thailand well enough to say that for sure (that’s my Malaysian-side talking). I really want to thank @telomeke for taking me on SUCH a deep dive with insight into this part of Thai culture that I think is very necessary and fascinating. (Politics in Thailand is quite complicated at the moment, but at this very second, Thailand’s current Parliament speaker, from the Move Forward party, is Thai Muslim, with a Malay Muslim name – Wan Muhamed Noor Matha. Very cool, but this is going to change soon, as Move Forward will make way for another political party to take control of the government.)

2) If you know me well enough, I cannot leave food well enough alone in our wonderful dramas (exhibit A: Moonlight Chicken and khao man gai, exhibit B: coffee/kopi in The Promise, lol), and I want to make sure that we were all aware back in 2020, and/or make you aware now, that Hokkien mee is a VERY regional dish, with styles unique to each town in which it is famous. @telomeke, I know you feel differently, but Hokkien mee from Kuala Lumpur (KL), Malaysia is my…. it’s my heaven, my soul, my heart, HA!

Here’s some linkies to get you educated. And also! Oh-aew prefers his Hokkien mee with rice vermicelli noodles, instead of the usual, thicker egg noodles. You know what I like to do if I see that a stall has the two styles of noodles available: I like to get them mixed together. Hokkien mee, Hokkien prawn mee noodle soup, curry laksa – I like the best of both worlds of noodles in my bowl. YUM.

Phuket Hokkien mee KL Hokkien mee Penang Hokkien mee (this one is the prawn noodle soup, not the fried noodles – omfg so good) Singapore Hokkien mee (note the lighter color – and the m’fing mix of thick and thin noodles, hell yeah!)

(If you made it this far in the ITSAY review, I have an easter egg for you. Guess what the Malay name is for rice vermicelli noodles? Bee hoon or mee hoon. 

Hoon and Teh, two Malay names: thin noodles and tea. What Teh’s mom serves at her stall, and what Teh and Oh-aew represent, symbolically, by names and their noodle preferences, as a pairing. AND! @telomeke​ gave me one more easter egg! Teh O is a popular way to order tea in Malaysia and Singapore. It’s black tea with sugar, no milk. Another pairing reference. ITSAY never stopped with all the layered references!)

[WHEW! What a ride. Thanks to all y’all who held me down during my losing-it liveblogging of ITSAY. More to come when I get to Last Twilight in Phuket and I Promised You The Moon.

Next week, I’ll release my review of YYY into the wild – listen, honestly. Yes, chaos, confusion, all of it. But I am not writing this show totally off. There was definitely stuff in it to chew on. And: POPPY RATCHAPONG. And Pee Peerawich. The acting was actually stacked on this show. There’s stuff! More soon.

And I also finished Manner of Death, so that review will drop in two weeks. I LOVE MAXTUL. UNABASHEDLY. Yes, I know I’m years late, yes, I know Tul is retired, sobs. Let me live my 2021 dreams! These guys are so good together, and MoD was fuckin’ great.

I have so much good stuff on the way: I’m fully in my ATOTS rewatch, and I’ve added 55:15 Never Too Late, very specifically its BL storyline. I may not give 55:15 a full review because I’ll fast-watch the rest of it, but: Khao, come to me, boo-boo! I have an INSANE August ahead of me as I’ll be moving in a month (GAH), but hopefully this schedule won’t fall back too much.

Status of the listy! Hit me up if you have feedback!

If this show is actually just BL bait, GMMTV will have used a queer media platform to shore up a non-queer project. That will be unforgivable, and I will block GMMTV and all of their shows past and present going forward.

He hasn't even kissed anyone!!!!

This is a crime, this is abysmal.

lmao @bengiyo mentioned that I jumped right into my reblog spam and didn't even say how I felt about the series after finishing it.

The warnings NETFLIX gave at the beginning of the eps had me afraid the series was going to take a dark ass turn. I didn't know what to expect by the end but I found the series to be lovely.

I think the plot was so simple and yet the story was so refreshing. I feel like I don't watch a lot of BLs where the best friend is madly in love without his feelings coming across as selfish at some point. I Cannot Reach You is not like that at all.

There is no mistake that Ohara is in love with Ashiya right at the start. The narrative makes it very loud and clear. But I just love that he truly felt like his crush was his own personal business even though it involved his best friend.

He didn't want to impose or force his feelings on someone he cares about so much. I love that because with a lot of these series, even if the person doesn't confess, they're using extremely possessive, rude to the people around their love interest, or comes up with some crazy ass scheme to make themselves stand out.

I just love that Ohara remained so respectful even if it was breaking his heart at some times. Being beside Ashiya and seeing him smile was most important. Even him acting on his jealousy was shortlived and fizzled out pretty quickly followed up with an apology.

And it's not even like he was terrified of what Ashiya's reaction would be, he just didn't want to possibly ruin the best relationship he ever had with the person who is most important to him.

Now on to Ashiya. I LOVE HIM! 10/10 character. He's really perfect to me. He seems like such a clumsy, loud, and impulsive guy but he's just so damn considerate and kind. I mentioned it before but I love how he handles this entire thing with Ohara. I love that he overhears something in passing and it sends him on this internal journey. He gets introduced to his best friend possibly being in love with him in such an organic way and I just love that he doesn't immediately reject the idea. I love that he doesn't immediately reject his best friend's possible feelings for him.

I love that he takes his time questioning how he feels about this new info. And why he reacts to way he does to certain things Ohara does. And how he truly feels about Ohara as his best friend and if those feelings can develop into romantic ones.

He's such a thoughtful guy who weighs everything. And once he's settled on something then that's it because he's given it much thought. Like I could tell as soon as he decided to keep the stuffie Ohara won for him that he was placing his feelings for Ohara above anything that he felt for Akane. He knew the most she could be was his friend and that's why it was so easy for him to hang out with her and be around her even though to everyone else it appeared like they were reaching romantic territory. Ashiya may seem all over the place but he seems to think about everything deeply.

I REALLY loved the confession, the second one on the rooftop. I love that Ashiya would not allow Ohara to just run away after confessing his love to him. Ashiya wanted and deserved to be heard out just like Ohara. I LOVED that Ashiya was like 'These feelings you have for me are important to you. And I am taking you seriously. Even if I'm not ready to date you, I want to consider it.' LIKE WHAT A MATURE WAY TO SAY IT'S NOT A NO BUT IT'S STILL NOT A COMPLETE YES EITHER! I ate it up. And it was the right thing to say to ease Ohara's worries but still give Ashiya time to process things more.

And lastly I love the little support group that built around them to help them along the way. It seems Ohara's feelings were more obvious that he expected. I love that Mikoto and Hosaka both basically told Ohara to go for it and that it would be selfish and possibly hurtful to keep such feelings to himself.

Hosaka was a gem with his little pink clip, soft blonde hair, and perfect eyeliner. I love that he was so impatient vs. Mikoto being so invested but no pushy about it. Ultimately the people around them wanted to see them succeed in making it to the next step in their evolving relationship.

Small things that I liked:

I did notice the boys were color coded.

I love the way Ashiya and Ohara split their food evenly to share.

I love that Ashiya was protective of Ohara, no one knows that boy like he does and he won't tolerate anyone speaking negatively about his bestie because they don't understand him.

I love that there were things things in the background and styling that showed that Ohara was really into stars and astronomy.

Just a few things that I felt didn't get answered or explained well enough:

I actually thought the kid with the glasses was suspecting something was between them in the beginning but it was never confirmed...or maybe he lost interest?

It was unclear if Ohara's father had passed away because we never saw him and it seemed it was just him and Mikoto living together.

Did Ashiya keep the love charm that Ohara dropped on the bridge? Didn't he buy two? I hate that nothing really became of that.

And lastly I just wanted a bit more resolution for Akane but I do understand why things were just kind of left with her. Like she understood that Ashiya didn't have romantic feelings for her but idk I just felt like things with her were unfinished.

Takeda Kouhei (Old Fashion Cupcake) is back in BL-land this time leading Life in Smokey Blue, at his side is veteran actor Shibuya Kento.

Based on the BL manga by Hamada Komone.

Azuma Sakutaro (Takeda Kohei), a 38-year-old unemployed gay man, once worked as a top medical representative at a pharmaceutical company. However, once he reached his mid-thirties, his work performance began to decline. As people around him moved forward with their lives, either getting married or changing careers, he grew increasingly anxious that he alone was falling behind. Eventually, he made the decision to quit his job. Now living with his older sister’s family, Azuma spends his days sleeping until noon and relieving stress by going out at night. On one of these occasions, after meeting a man at a gay bar, he is nearly forced into a hotel against his will. At that moment, he is rescued by Kuji Shizuka (Shibuya Kento), a former colleague and rival from his days as an MR, with whom he once competed fiercely in sales. Eight years have passed since their last encounter, which took place on the day Kuji left the company. His sharp-tongued sarcastic personality remains unchanged, but he now sports long, languid hair and works as a medical translator. The one-time relationship they buried eight years ago begins to stir once more after their sudden reunion.

Penned by Takahashi Natsuki and directed by Hiraki Maki, the duo is responsible for When It Rains, It Pours.

(Source)

This all started when I googled "thai bl" after someone on a Heated Rivalry post commented about it. I had no fucking clue! I am sure there are other idiots like me who also have no idea this shit exists, so consider this a sign to google it.

After Jojo n'en upset me with the ending of Only Friends I'm back here for only two reasons: Mix Sahaphap and an apology to Boston. I'm still pissed as hell, and I reserve the right to bail at any time. Here are the character rankings for ep 1!

1. Dean

I SAID I WAS HERE FOR MIX AND I DID NOT STUTTER. Dean is the kind of problem I've wanted to see Mix play for a long time: face of an angel and soul of a demon. His utter disregard for anything beyond his own desires and complete confidence in his ability to achieve those desires through sheer force of will...look, this is gonna blow up but it could be the most fun I've had with media in almost a year if the blow up is written well.

2. Raffy

HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA. Oh I love the pathetic ones. When he tries to flirt with Jack over drinks and Jack looks at him stonefaced as he presses his cheek into Jack's hand, I let out a cackle. HE'S NOT INTO YOU. Now will he become more into you because fucking you will upset both his ex AND the brother he seems to hate? Well let's see.

3. Tua

Babygirl The Secret Sugar Daddy is really gonna lie and pay Arnold to do this play out of his own pocket so he can maybe smash. Unhinged. Lemme see it.

4. Rome

Propositioning a man in a bathroom not 30 seconds after your last hookup concluded and left said bathroom is certainly a CHOICE. Hooking up with the dude I'm pretty sure you KNOW has an insane crush on the brother nobody knows you're related to who also hates you is diabolical work.

5. Jack's date

Dean came in the house, apologised for cockblocking but did not leave, and then said 'you're replacing me with this?'. That man knows a demon when he sees one and has no interest in being dragged to hell. I respect it.

6. Jack

YOU LET YOUR EX BREAK UP YOUR POST-BREAKUP HOOKUP MID-MAKEOUT TO HOOK UP WITH SAID EX INSTEAD. MAN DOWN.

7. The Greek Chorus (Timmy and Pete)

I love both Soodyacht and Fluke VI (he is 6 right? I've lost track of the Flukes. He might be 5 since Gawin no longer goes by Fluke...correct me in the comments) and Timmy and Pete commenting on the shenanigans unfolding via goss sessions with all the characters could work really well here. We await.

8. Arnold

They didn't give Arnold much to do in this intro other than be the object of Tua's thirst, but I wait to see what is lurking under this seeming nice-guy surface.

I am not going to sit here and try to defend these GROWN ADULT men as a teenager, but I will admit, I was a HUGE fan of some of these guys (NOT the Tkachuks) literally 36 hours ago and I was so inspired by them, especially Brock Faber, considering I am from and live in a place super close to where he is from and it is awesome to have someone like that. I looked up to them as a current student-athlete myself.

I knew how toxic the men’s hockey community was, but you always just hold out hope that the ones that you support and love aren’t like the others, but what else should I have expected? Men’s hockey, especially US men’s hockey, is full of misogynistic, homophobic, and racist people.

Them partying with Kash Patel, the director of the FBI, in the locker room is so gross. He was there on tax payer dollars. He should be investigating ICE, not drinking beer and popping champagne bottles with these hockey players. We have ICE Agents in the US, killing innocent people that are also citizens for no reason. The Minnesota players specifically should know this, as they have for sure driven past multiple protests against ICE while living in the state.

The biggest disappointment to me are the Hughes brothers. I mean, what more could I expect seeing as Quinn has been good friends with known Trump supporter Brady Tkachuk since they were teenagers. They will lose a lot of fans for this, considering that a lot of their fans are women and girls who have learned about them from TikTok. They have alienated the majority of their fanbase. Their mother, Ellen Hughes, is a trailblazer in women’s hockey. Women’s hockey was added to the winter olympics in 1998, which was after she won the 1992 IIHF Women’s World Championship. She would’ve been an olympian. Ellen has been outspoken as being anti-Trump since his first presidency in 2016. She most likely tried to raise her three sons the same way, but instead they decided to listen to their conservative teammates and become every other American white man because she’s a woman and obviously not equal to men. Ellen was on the Women’s Olympic Hockey Team staff that won the gold medal, yet they still laugh at Trump’s misogynistic “joke” that isn’t funny, that also applies to their own mother.

The women have outperformed men’s hockey in the Olympics since it was added. They have medaled at every single olympics since it was added (8 appearances). They have a total of three gold, four silver, and one bronze medal. The men have 12 medals in 25 appearances. The US women only allowed two goals in the seven games they played in the Olympic tournament, with five shut-outs. They scored a total of 33 goals throughout all seven games. That is an average of a little over 4 goals per game. To joke about and laugh at this team that supported you throughout your games and even did better than you is unbelievable to me. A lot of these men have wives, daughters, mothers, and sisters. Laughing at this “joke” is laughing at their expense.

I’m sorry to all of the non-conservative men in hockey that are being bunched into this group of people. If you want someone new in the NHL to support that doesn’t support these actions, I recommend Olen Zellweger, he unfollowed the men that made those comments and laughed in the locker room.

They went back to each other after a year apart.

That's it. Does this count as an open ending?

I guess the potential endless cycle of toxicity might be the point.

Dare You to Death and Melody of Secrets are two that are going to catch strays here because they want the romance to be the main genre in a show clearly designed to be a mystery, and the shows are struggling finding a balance. I didn't watch Goddess Bless You from Death or Khemjira because I don't eff with los espookys, but I did see people's complaints being that they didn't have enough romance, so from my outside perspective, I think those shows committed to the mystery/ghost-story over romance, and people were not expecting that. The shows picked a point, and the point was solving the mystery which meant romance came second which is not the norm in BL Land. Sammon's work (Manner of Death, Dead Friend Forever, Triage, Spare Me Your Mercy) is one of the only writers that comes to mind who consistently puts the romance dead last because she isn't writing romance. Director/Producer Aof's work also makes the romance a supporting element to his story, not the main point. I hate Last Twilight's ending because it's a story about disability until it isn't, but all his stories have a point that isn't just love.

So with Burnout Syndrome, The Next Prince, and even Peach Lover, the shows want to say something important, yet because it's picking romance as the main point, it has to follow certain conventions that limit the shows' ability to tell its story. Then we have Me and Thee which understood the point was love, so it made itself a romcom while incorporating elements from other genres very well. The only true issue with the show that many people had with the series was Aran and Tawan's plot, which tried to be about something more than love in a show focused on love. The show even changed the plot from the novel, so this was really a show issue and not a novel one.

Strangely enough, I think Thai GLs are having an easier time making this transition to include more genres beyond romance because they never started strictly in school settings, so two girls falling in love was rarely the only point. Many of them were based on a plot that included a man as the big issue, and a man could be a stand-in for greed (capitalism), patriarchy, and oppressive structures, so now we have shows about women falling in love in jail and finding that balance between a drama and a romance (Clairebell). We have shows about body-switching that showcase external expectations while remaining a comedy (Queendom).

Basically, romance is hard to write, but Thai BLs got it down in school settings after a few fumbles in the early years, so now that it's branching out beyond school, it's struggling with navigating the new landscape.

There's a saying we use in my profession: 'what gets measured gets managed'. Essentially, if a change is noticed, if it's rewarded, then the focus will be on the element that drove that change. Thai BL in particular is rewarded for creating 'moments' now, clips you can put on TikTok devoid of context to make the girls (non gender specific) scream and spend money. If context (story) is no longer being rewarded, then context (story) is no longer gonna be important to the business people (because this is a business) making this stuff. Even the genre blend stuff that we're seeing, a lot of it is mostly genre vibes around two Ken dolls smashing into each other. Khemjira broke through because it HAD a story, and the romance was central to that story. Me and Thee broke through because it made its romance the story. Thai BL used to do this a lot more and a lot better. Even when the shows were quote-unquote 'bad', there was something there to hold onto in the story, something that the creator was trying to say. But the assembly line nature of a lot of the current landscape, focused on creating enough 10-30 second clips to trend and launch their investment property into the vertical sweet spot that is merch sales, concert tickets, appearance fees and product endorsement deals, has meant that the actual creative does fall by the wayside some. Look, there will always be a tension between art and commerce in television. Part of the enjoyment for me has always been seeing where the balances and trade offs are, but commerce is winning right now and it's a little depressing.