Elysium

Cats that are REALLY human socialized and tolerant of touching are so funny. You can just grab them and pick them up. Boneless. Squish their little face in your hand. They love it. But what's funnier is when you get used to one of those and then absentmindedly pet a normal cat weirdstyle and they're like MYAGH?? & you're just like ykw you're right my bad girl

*pointing at your wife*: you know that thing would eat you if you died, right?

my cat is completely obsessed with watching the bathroom sink drain and I have started calling this "her shows." as in when I'm in the bathroom and she meows and runs up I'll be like "oh you want to watch your shows?" and run the faucet for an extra few seconds so it fills a little. she will then sit there at the edge of the sink for ages totally entraptured by the drain. blorbo from her sink

sorry for bitching and whining. unfortunately i have to or else ill start killing and eating people instead