it's me, jodie

This did not go where I expected from the first tweet and now I am laughing so hard I am crying.

Beating the alcoholic allegations by easily plugging my phone into the charger with no struggle at all

civilty in US politics is fu*cking bonkers man you can have a preacher at a town hall calmly calling for gays to be publicly executed but if a politician responds to him “FUCK YOU” that politician would be the subject of a week-long tirade about some bullshit “this is a dark day in american history. i cannot believe a politician would say the f word. we are a country of people who respect others’ opinions uwu”

beksinski's paintings aren't even supposed to be weird poland is just like that

There's no 7/11 in Poland, they're going to, like, Billa

on my way to Żabka to purchase new flavour of monster energy

A person with an abusive nature will always register you standing up for yourself as an act of betrayal. Betray them.

This is so important. As a good person, you may choose to stick around to prove to someone that you’re not a bad person. You have nothing to prove to a bad person. You cannot help everyone. You cannot fix everyone. It’s not your fault.

Uh, honey? They’re nailing squidward to the cross

Planned obsolescence

king