sometimes i get flashbacks on here to conversations i tried to have with conservatives re: white privilege - but it becomes apparent that irrespective of political alignment, a lot of people have the same kneejerk reaction to "you have privilege"
like you try to bring it up with a conservative white man and he'll say, "my life wasn't easy. I grew up in a trailer park, raised by a single mom who was also a drug addict, and I have never had things handed to me. I struggled." and it's just. yes! you were subject to classism! your mother also faced misogyny, and institutional medical obstacles regarding addiction/drug treatment. you were disadvantaged compared to people who didn't have to endure any those things, and what happened to you was devastating and real.
all that "white privilege" means is that you were also not dealing with racism on top of that. that's it. that's what it means.
but if you push on this point, the reaction then pivots to: "but i'm not racist. i haven't used that privilege to hurt black people. i don't 'wield' my privilege against them."
great! interpersonal conflict is very much not how privilege largely manifests, it's exercised by systems and institutions that are beyond the reach of you and your friends. you may not have done anything to your black friend, but if you both applied for a loan at the same bank, all other things being equal, there is a historical precedence for you, a white man, being given better terms and resources. that is white privilege. neither of you are the banker, the banker is exercising power over both of you in making this decision.
and so ostensibly progressive people on here, who experience marginalization along one axis, will still reject any assertion that they have certain privileges - "I can't experience white privilege fully because I'm autistic" - there's a word for what you experience alongside white privilege, and it's called ableism. these two things very much coexist, because you are not also experiencing racism's intersection WITH the ableism you face. "I haven't used my male privilege against anyone, I don't oppress the women around me" - I never said you did, now if you and a woman both worked the same job, who is your employer (who wields the power in this situation) likely to pay more?
like, people are still caught up in the very real struggles they're facing to no fault of their own, but they continue to interpret "you have X privilege" with "your life is easy / you don't suffer from other issues / you're the one making life harder for people without that privilege." and it would be great if we could just get back to the basics of intersectionality here and stop operating on false assumptions!!