also, you can't just keep saying it wasn't that bad. surprisingly it does not work!! I'm a chronic "it's not that bad, other people had it so much worse"-er and told my partner about my 4th-6th grade experience and she said she would rather have had her trauma than mine ๐ she was sexually abused and had to keep her suicidal mother alive for years while being her caregiver and was the one who found her when she succeeded so yeah. the voice in your head that tells you it wasn't that bad is the abuse. it feels bad to care about yourself because you couldn't. admitting that what happened was unacceptable means accepting that those around failed you and that it doesn't matter why. what matters is that is happened. it happened and it fucked you up. yes, understanding their lives and traumas can help but it will never makes it better. because when you were a kid it didn't matter that your dad was depressed. it mattered that screamed at you. that he made you scared. that you didn't feel like anyone actually cared about you. so you have to be selfish and say "what happened was wrong. there may have been preceding events that made this more likely to happen, but it was still wrong. i am the one left to deal with the consequences and I won't ignore it." you have to confront the idea of the people who treated you like this and you have to destroy it. you have to see the world for the nonsensical tangled mess it is and realized the only thing that matters at the end of the day is what actually happened.
titsay
tangentwithtanner
gummygunk
areudirty
