Pebbs

atp the only way we’re going to get out of this ai shit while people’s brains are still semi intact is to start bribing influencers and tiktokers into saying chatgpt is cringe and it emits a frequency that blocks your divine energy which can only be channeled back by reading a book and talking to your friends

mama bears listen up: human traffickers are using chatgpt to pick out their next victims!!! Every time you use it they create a profile of you and bubs and the more you use it the easier they can track you. If you’ve ever found a brightly colored wrapper just under your car at target or walmart it means they are signaling accomplices in the area to get ready to ambush you!!!!! Mamas help me spread the word!!!!!!!!!

different audience no problem: what kind of beta shit are you talking about brother your ancestors were in the trenches fighting wolves barehanded and shit and you need a fucking computer to tell you what to do? You’re so fucking cucked dude you gotta do shit the PRIMAL way, you let a computer think for you you might as well let it chew your food get your gains and fuck your wife get this sissy shit out of my face bro it literally lowers your sperm count

okay but Shane takes a hit late in the game and doesn't return so in the post-game presser somebody (they're new, they don't know any better, they will never make this mistake again) asks Ilya "how's Hollander's head" and Ilya experiences every emotion at once as he wrestles with the lingering terror of seeing the love of his life take five seconds too long to get up (he's fine) and also the sheer delight at being offered this perfect, once-in-a-lifetime opportunity on a silver platter

severely deficient in whatever vitamin makes u a person

Ilya comes into the locker room with a black eye he didn’t have the night before. Everyone’s oohing and aahing and shane is. Very quiet. A little perturbed. People are making jokes about their sex life and shane is seething into his locker. The team finally fully gangs up on shane like hollander what kind of freak shit are you doing, huh? Sex swing gone wrong?? Knee to the face? And shane turns, crosses his arms and stares at the floor and states, very solemnly, “ilya got a yo-yo”

I’m so torn on Hayden’s sex life because on one hand it’s funny to imagine a very vanilla Hayden who’s baffled by Shane’s sex life but on the other hand…it’s also funny to imagine a Hayden who sees a douche at Shane’s place and is like “Buddy! Lily pegs you too? How big’s your dildo? We’ve been kinda thinking of upgrading to a bigger one and—“ and Shane’s just sitting there short circuiting

cliff marleau and ilya rozanov are best friends not because they’re teammates or marleau was assigned to look after roz when he first got to the raiders, but because, even though it takes so much alcohol to get him drunk, when ilya gets drunk he can only be described as white girl wasted and marly is the EXACT same way. they are in the mens bathroom in front of the mirror like “is my shirt unbuttoned enough for people to look at my tits?” “yeah man your boobs look GREAT! can you tell me if these jeans look good on my ass i think i saw a girl eying me” “marly your ass looks phenomenal and you can trust me on this as i am a well known ass man” “aw man rozzy you’re making me blush”

they share clothes all of the time, not even really on purpose, they just spend so much time hungover together that things get muddled. this isn't a problem until marley sees shane hollander, wearing his shirt??? obviously he immediately accuses ilya of cheating on him (partying without inviting him to join). shane is visibly devastated, ilya is frantically explaining, and thats how marley is the first person in the nhl to learn about hollanov

The way Shane always melts when Ilya kisses his neck 🥵

authors are being run off of ao3 when I haven't downloaded their fics yet and I am MAD!!!! because fandom used to be a quiet and safe part of the internet that self regulated and people followed rules and now absolute fucking nutjobs are running people off the internet for daring to do something they don't like!!!!!

Whoever are the assholes that caused some of the best writers out there to completely shut down and remove their work, you are the fucking worst.