Gonna touch yo butt

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

Why is this back on my dash in 2018

Thank god this is back on my dash in 2018

Frodo had to leave Middle Earth because there was no way the SamRosie marriage could have survived whatever weird codependent secret third thing Sam and Frodo had going on.

Wait! I can change! *grotesquely transforms into a snarling ghoul*

I hope my spider fucking book will hold universal appeal

interested in the idea that whatever spiders Georg has going on with his diet is somehow sexual

Even in olden times, the night was ancient.

I want my top surgery done by cannibal zombiegirl nurses *remembers feminism* and zombiegirl doctor

hello male writer. before you is a typewriter. you have one day to write a novella with a woman as the protagonist without describing her breasts. the timer begins now

Her ass was like a peach, and brother I’m in her pit.

well. that one’s on me

idk who needs to hear this rn but suffering is not noble. take the tylenol

One time when I was younger I was refusing to take headache medicine and my mom said “the person who invented that medicine is probably so sad you won’t let them help you” and now every time I find myself denying medicine I just imagine the saddest scientist making those big wet eyes like “why won’t you let me help” and whoop then I take the medicine