Basically stuff

dark hair dark eyes dark soul

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

straight girl: *sees literally any guy with a lisp* 😳 guys… my Gaydar®™©…. is tingling. 😩🖖 i have the best Gay senses. 🤔 i have the power ✊ to see 🕵🏻 right through the Gay’s thick 👥 external straight™ layers and into their ⭐️gay⭐️ soul. 👁 i am one with the gay community. 🙌👬 I can feel their kind in my bones🙏 …. A gay psychic🔮…. If u will…… 👀

After a gay guy says another “masculine” guy is gay. Straight girl: You are just hoping. 😒Trust me, my Gaydar®™ is amazing💅 I visited NYC/San Francisco once 👬👬 You just wish he was gay because you want him 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨if he were gay 🌈 I would ✨know✨besides, one time, we met eyes 🌜🌛 and let me tell you, 💁 he wants me 😘

Stereotyping straights are we?

Yeah bc they won’t stop murdering us so we unwind from the stress with some light humour

DELETE THIS POST

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

I think I find this post every April Fools Day and I am so happy that I do

WHAT THE FUCK

Really confused as to how my logo changed to kermit the frog. Unless im starting to have hallucinations from lack of sleep. Still. mindfucked. 

The Devil Wears Prada sequel looks great

I’m sorry where was this all my life?

THIS MADE ME LAUGH SO MUCH I LOVE THIS AND I LOVE YOU

A crossover between King Midas and King Oedipus would be pure motherfucking gold

PLEASE EMPLOYMENT JELLY

Not risking it all I want in my life is a job I actually like

Sure why not, I’ll try anything at this point

i have an interview tomorrow! 

seriously need one right now LMAO

One of my favourite anecdotes about the first Golden Age of Piracy is that, at one point, Captain Henry Morgan left England in one ship, and arrived in the Caribbean commanding a completely different ship, and nobody knows why. What happened to the first ship and how he acquired the second one are entirely unrecorded.

At some point in his short career (1715 until 1718), the English pirate Ben Hornigold attacked a sloop near Honduras just to steal all the hats of the crew, because his own crew had gotten drunk the night before and they had tossed every single one of their own hats overboard.

Everyone in the notes saying “Dread Pirate Roberts” is my new best friend.

Did I ever tell yall about the time I had a really vivid dream that I overheard some dudebros talking about sucking dick and one of them said “I’d suck a dick” and his bros were like “but bro you’re straight” and the response was “It doesn’t have to be a guy’s dick. Don’t be a transphobe, Chad” because I just remembered the phrase “Don’t be a transphobe, Chad” and now I’m laughing

I’m reblogging this because I just remembered “don’t be a transphobe, chad” again

People who make “braver than any US Marine” jokes and have to read people’s offended pro-military comments about it are braver than any US Marine