i love him. he’s my friend

we haven't had a true tumblr sexyman in years. Sans was like the last one. I can still see his weird glowing goo ghost dick when I close my eyes. that kind of absolute derangement just doesn't happen anymore. some people just liking Astarion and Senshi a lot is not the same. a true tumblr sexyman makes this website absolutely unusable

oh my god it was the porn ban. the porn ban killed the tumblr sexyman. the horny can't fester and multiply like it used to. the sexymen are killed in their infancy

getting escorted out of a gun show for rating them based on mouth feel

Adventure Time really revolutionized the art of a white boy having a dog

*booking an mri* what if I accidentally have a pacemaker. what if I got secret bone surgery and forgot about the pins

all click to help causes on arab.org (including click for palestine)

Im gonna shuffle my giant playlist of every song i like and if the very first one that plays isnt exactly what i want to hear right this second im gna lose it

i could jumpstart a car with my breasts

love "et cetera" like... theres soooo much more. beyond your wildest imaginations. Not gonna tell u what tho. Move on

It has apparently been ten years since the time one of my professors pulled me aside to tell me I had to clean up after making out before going to class because my lipstick was everywhere and I realized "actually my tapdancing group decided we all had to dress like the Joker for our performance" was an infinitely worse explanation so I just said I was sorry

april will be a good month [staring into the sink mirror eyebags prominent the most upset person youve ever seen]