there’s gonna be some hot summer nights this mid july so i reckon you and i have got to get forever wild

I can tell youre knitting with no love in your heart i can see the hateful intentions in every stitch.

No Children rules unbelievably on its own merits but it rules especially as the 7th track on Tallahassee. Right in the middle of this horror story there's a lively tongue-in-cheek duet that sounds like it's being played in a bar and it's horrible but it's all fun and romantic and then you have 7 songs left and two of them are See America Right and Oceanographer's choice. Greatest album ever written.

when you go to a doctors office their favorite thing to do is tell you "okay check out at the front desk" when you're done. and the front desk tells you ummm you can just go! and you're like don't I have a copay? and they're like we don't know, we have to ask your insurance company first. and you're like well my insurance card says the copay is $30, can I just pay it right now while I'm standing in front of you? there's a card reader right there on the desk. and they're like nooo we have to send a representative on horseback during the next waning moon to meet with their claims adjusting associate director of benefits management and client services in the secret glade to negotiate. and you're like oh okay and go home. and you get twelve emails asking you to take a survey about your experience

your edible will never kick in because you are a bad person

the concept of a pedigree cat is funny to me… you get those things free. from outside

Isn't it fun how it's considered poor form to comment on the fact that a conservative 50% of all world leaders are motivated by batshit insane supernatural beliefs because some decent people have slightly less extreme versions of the batshit insane supernatural beliefs.

The dead horse beats me

Just found a $50 bill in the street let’s hear it for girls posting their Ws online