Finding someone who treats you the way you want to be treated is hard.
It's harder to treat yourself the way you want to be treated. It's hard to find the ability within yourself to be able to see what must be done and do something about it.
You have to be okay with accepting what you find wrong with yourself and working towards fixing that.
You have to be okay with being wrong, and finding things wrong with yourself.
It will be extremely difficult to do so, and fixing these things will take time. In the long run, you have to do it.
If you hurt yourself with the pain of bettering and maturing, then somebody else can't come along and hurt you.
I remember the times I allowed myself to be yelled at by someone, simply because I was too afraid of losing someone from my life, even if it hurt me.
I was recently hurt by someone, and I took that as, "I did something wrong", all because they did not have the maturity within themselves to treat me the same way they wanted to be treated.
I cannot say what they were looking for, as I will never know, but I do know that I can no longer beat myself up for being treated differently than I wanted to be treated.
I was hurt because I allowed myself to be blindsided by prospect rather than look at reality.
I was not able to be honest with myself until tonight.
I am going to work towards being someone who can see reality and a situation at hand, rather than someone who so badly yearns for something that cannot be given to me, that I ignore obvious signs.
Not only will I treat others with respect, I will treat myself with respect.
And if somebody doesn't show me the respect I treat myself with, I will be able to recognize that they aren't someone who deserves a space in my life.