#self written

two years compared to forever

its been a while since i met you, in the beginning we chased fireflies

i was not aware i was stealing your heart

im a fool and i'd do it all again, as many times

im in love with you

crushing over your smile, nobody seems to come close to you

i was not aware how small do two years feel compared to forever

im a fool and i'd do it all again, as many times

im in love with you

my existence is timeless, as long as you keep driving me crazy

as long as you keep kissing me and making me lose track of time

i hope i get the next christmas with you

for me you look so flawless

im in love with you

its been a while since i met you, in the beginning we chased fireflies

The thing is

I was never wrong for it

When I choked down misplaced guilt and swallowed my unhappiness whole

When I told myself I was being selfish, I was rotten, I was broken

Deep down wanting to leave was not a flaw

Wanting to chase the curve of the horizon, needing to go beyond home’s safe shores

was not being ungrateful

Years ago they would’ve said I had the makings of a sailor

Now I beat myself down with the fear I am taking good things for granted

That needing to leave had to be coupled with suffering

and I had too much going for me to earn it

Sometimes it doesn’t have to be about running away

Sometimes your heart just needs to go

Sometimes it just needs to step beyond the shore

You’re not wrong for feeling trapped in the four safe corners

You told me once that maybe I shouldn’t think into

things so deeply.

Don’t you know it’s not that easy?

My head is a microcosm of the universe

It lives by its own natural law

I cannot undo the thoughts any more than I can

drain the oceans

Any more than I can extinguish the stars

Ask me to unhook the moon from Earth’s gravity

and I think I’d have better odds

I am a kaleidoscope of thoughts upon thoughts

Untethered, tangled, brilliant thoughts

Thoughts that hover and thoughts that sink deep

Thoughts I rediscover and thoughts that solidify in

sleep

Thoughts that hover just out of reach, thoughts

buried under memories

To attempt to undo this would be like trying to rein

in the planets

Trying to stop the universe from expanding

Trying to undiscover the Americas,

trying to take back the moon landing

You cannot put it back in the box

Even if you pretend it’s not there

You cannot undo what has been done