reece!!

i'm sick and tired of the words that fall flat on the ground i'd rip my throat out and hand it to you so there's no excuse no misunderstanding when the heart is beating in your palm but still you'd find some way to turn that around onto me

while letting the eggs burn on a dry pan i am sneering in the shower i am still thinking of the perfect words to say so with a gun in my mouth, i am still arguing with you even though i buried you alongside all my other pets

and the boy grown up is still holding the magnifying glass catching the sun and throwing it into the ant hill and what are we to do now? he's much too old to beat so we'll leave him be and someone else will figure it out

i wish you had the time to listen to every word memorize my world as if it was your own just to suck you into my excuses and neglections i need you in my mind to justify all the crimes

the only crime that's wrong is the selfish one that's what i say while i tear the meat off the bone because an animal is all i will ever be and i hope one day it comes back to me

i want to be torn apart on the forest floor by coyotes and carrions and everything in between that's the only way i can justify the things i've done just to occupy my pitiful space in this mold ridden room

it's hard to forget the sound of rats skittering around it's impossible to neglect the bugs running down your throat you made every promise that the world had to hold and it's giving in to the gravity at it's core

there are times where i could only see your eyes burning into mine on the back of my eyelids and i don't know how to get away from it now the neglect and the absence, i can't take it anymore

so when you come knocking at my door i'll still fly out embrace and squeeze the organs out of you cos these words don't mean a thing when my actions will always bring me back into you

in the midnight light i can't see your eyes all i do is shake and shiver and wait your return a thousand years means absolutely nothing to me the sun and the stars just fly me by up in the sky

i have all the time in the world to butt my head against you if only you'll stand strong and won't dare move or i'll pass right through the wall and end up in my room from then i'll be stuck until the universe takes us all

it was never as dramatic as i wanted it to be it was never as final as i expected it to be it was never as thorough as i desired it to be it was never anything at all to someone like me

your dog is hanging off the tree again would you shoot the rope down this time or would you let it twitch and whimper attempting to free itself of a collar too tight

gravity always brings me down into the dirt in the end i'll just fill my mouth with it pull the hammer back and blow myself through my heart finally split in two through a spotless chest

i ran my hands through your hair and saw your third eye well i'll just cover it and say goodbye with a kiss it's not like these things have ever gone amiss but what else can you expect a dog to do

i wish i could tell you every thought that passes through but they always crash and burn before they get to you when you cracked my head over the pan my brain was just happy to finally see you

when the radio gets static and repeats itself you blame me as though i was there on the assembly floor getting my wires crossed too busy thinking about the love of my life

i was afraid this would be our last day together so i gathered every bit i had of you and stared in awe every ounce of love you had to give made manifest and all i had left to do was pray forgiveness from you

there are worlds between the words i speak and galaxies between the meanings of each when i come back down and lay my head to rest won't you please absolve me of this stench

i saw you skinned and emptied on a forest floor all i wanted was to crawl closer to your bones when i reach out and i don't feel you there nothing will make this nothing i feel okay

i came and saw because you asked me to look the blaring horn will never stop sounding beckoning me to an end i can't return from i watch the cracked bowl slowly leak soup

it's not as bad as you want it to be it's not as pretty as i wished it was there was a dead finch on my windowsill the sweetness only a rotten apple can have

if it's sour you're supposed to spit it out but i like the way it feels in my mouth i wish your fingernails were sharper i've done it so many times in my head i lost count

and if i could be in the orbit of you i think i'd pray to be pushed closer i don't care who's in the way when we collide into one

it's never too cold to stargaze with you let's lay on the frozen ground and stare up map our path along each and every star memorize it so the sun can't take it away

when your letter came, i heard the birds again singing in time with the rhythm of my heart as if everything had led to this moment in time feeling your hands gliding against mine

there's a million things for us to do but i'm content to lay here with you watching the sun rise and fall unknowingly that it can never get us, when we're in here

the tv reminds me i'm gonna die soon and be a burden to everyone around me but i can change that with a slip of paper and a signature, written neatly, in the corner

my phone says i'm an affront to modern life my presence and opinions are disgusting that i ought to just end it all now either from a rope or a bottle

my computer knows it's smarter than me already knows where i want to be an algorithm crafted out of clicks watching as my eyes drift back endlessly

the prettiest girl i ever knew came in a pill, light blue never asked much of me except to stay still and breathe

i knew i'd do anything to hear her talk she gave so selflessly, while i took so needily i know we were made to drag each other down because i don't feel at peace until we're one

black and blue, yellow too there's nothing that i wouldn't do i miss you, though i know you never left thinking of you while i'm in this bare room

all i'd need is your voice in my ears you'd never hear me complain then until it was taken away from me just tell me no and i'll go

i'll stare in awe as you prove me wrong never thought i'd make it this far i know i'm nowhere near done yet and i know i won't be the one to die

so i'll slam my head against this forevermore until i figure it out, or i fall over dead i heard you tell me that i'm far too hasty what else can i be in a world like this?

there's no use counting days in a year when i know i'll only end up here and yet again i'm staring into your eyes knowing absolutely nothing has changed

all i remember is a cat coiled on my chest and i'd have laid there till the end of time but life could never be that kind another empty day, another pill taken

i'm imagining hanging off a tree with a bag around my head and a chain around my neck but it's too early for that yet

a river splits and leaves a city stranded a rickety bridge connects them to life though they haven't passed over it yet an island in the middle of the mainland

the clouds and rains drown this place as they seem to float further away rejected by the land itself some native curse at long last felled

partners joined in interlocked hands stared as the land vanished before them the bridges snapping and falling and going thinking, maybe this is the river of styx

i'm thinking of you when i drown in all the dreams i've ever had the bubbles from the sea floor they just can't sustain me anymore

though you were never here before all i can imagine is your hands on me holding me in the ways i've pleaded for i cry and drink this in once more

the ocean can stand a little more salt but i don't know where to even start so we can fly back to when it all began and i'll ask if we can do this all over again

a reminder of tomorrow the stars piercing the fog their light makes its way to me all so i can say, not today

rearrange all the clouds for me the brush bending to my will the roots upturning for my steps all so i can say, not today

i'm lying on the linoleum floor wishing for something more your hands in my hair as i cry all so i can say, not today

as above, so below, or so they say the wind blows right through bones your skin is a sail, but it gets in the way when all you've ever needed is to be still

lying in your bed as you look at the mirror yet again staring at the reflection of you we both know nothing will change soon trying to be perfect for the worst of me

spring comes, but i'm freezing still in comes the sound of the birds now reminding me that i'm not so alone as i watch the sun rise yet again