reece!!

i wish i could tell you every thought that passes through but they always crash and burn before they get to you when you cracked my head over the pan my brain was just happy to finally see you

when the radio gets static and repeats itself you blame me as though i was there on the assembly floor getting my wires crossed too busy thinking about the love of my life

i was afraid this would be our last day together so i gathered every bit i had of you and stared in awe every ounce of love you had to give made manifest and all i had left to do was pray forgiveness from you

there are worlds between the words i speak and galaxies between the meanings of each when i come back down and lay my head to rest won't you please absolve me of this stench

i saw you skinned and emptied on a forest floor all i wanted was to crawl closer to your bones when i reach out and i don't feel you there nothing will make this nothing i feel okay

i came and saw because you asked me to look the blaring horn will never stop sounding beckoning me to an end i can't return from i watch the cracked bowl slowly leak soup

it's not as bad as you want it to be it's not as pretty as i wished it was there was a dead finch on my windowsill the sweetness only a rotten apple can have

if it's sour you're supposed to spit it out but i like the way it feels in my mouth i wish your fingernails were sharper i've done it so many times in my head i lost count

and if i could be in the orbit of you i think i'd pray to be pushed closer i don't care who's in the way when we collide into one

it's never too cold to stargaze with you let's lay on the frozen ground and stare up map our path along each and every star memorize it so the sun can't take it away

when your letter came, i heard the birds again singing in time with the rhythm of my heart as if everything had led to this moment in time feeling your hands gliding against mine

there's a million things for us to do but i'm content to lay here with you watching the sun rise and fall unknowingly that it can never get us, when we're in here

the tv reminds me i'm gonna die soon and be a burden to everyone around me but i can change that with a slip of paper and a signature, written neatly, in the corner

my phone says i'm an affront to modern life my presence and opinions are disgusting that i ought to just end it all now either from a rope or a bottle

my computer knows it's smarter than me already knows where i want to be an algorithm crafted out of clicks watching as my eyes drift back endlessly

the prettiest girl i ever knew came in a pill, light blue never asked much of me except to stay still and breathe

i knew i'd do anything to hear her talk she gave so selflessly, while i took so needily i know we were made to drag each other down because i don't feel at peace until we're one

black and blue, yellow too there's nothing that i wouldn't do i miss you, though i know you never left thinking of you while i'm in this bare room

all i'd need is your voice in my ears you'd never hear me complain then until it was taken away from me just tell me no and i'll go

i'll stare in awe as you prove me wrong never thought i'd make it this far i know i'm nowhere near done yet and i know i won't be the one to die

so i'll slam my head against this forevermore until i figure it out, or i fall over dead i heard you tell me that i'm far too hasty what else can i be in a world like this?

there's no use counting days in a year when i know i'll only end up here and yet again i'm staring into your eyes knowing absolutely nothing has changed

all i remember is a cat coiled on my chest and i'd have laid there till the end of time but life could never be that kind another empty day, another pill taken

i'm imagining hanging off a tree with a bag around my head and a chain around my neck but it's too early for that yet

a river splits and leaves a city stranded a rickety bridge connects them to life though they haven't passed over it yet an island in the middle of the mainland

the clouds and rains drown this place as they seem to float further away rejected by the land itself some native curse at long last felled

partners joined in interlocked hands stared as the land vanished before them the bridges snapping and falling and going thinking, maybe this is the river of styx

i'm thinking of you when i drown in all the dreams i've ever had the bubbles from the sea floor they just can't sustain me anymore

though you were never here before all i can imagine is your hands on me holding me in the ways i've pleaded for i cry and drink this in once more

the ocean can stand a little more salt but i don't know where to even start so we can fly back to when it all began and i'll ask if we can do this all over again

a reminder of tomorrow the stars piercing the fog their light makes its way to me all so i can say, not today

rearrange all the clouds for me the brush bending to my will the roots upturning for my steps all so i can say, not today

i'm lying on the linoleum floor wishing for something more your hands in my hair as i cry all so i can say, not today

as above, so below, or so they say the wind blows right through bones your skin is a sail, but it gets in the way when all you've ever needed is to be still

lying in your bed as you look at the mirror yet again staring at the reflection of you we both know nothing will change soon trying to be perfect for the worst of me

spring comes, but i'm freezing still in comes the sound of the birds now reminding me that i'm not so alone as i watch the sun rise yet again

i'm locked into this death spiral now i'm one leg down and turning round a thousand dead, count me in there another body being shipped away

they told me the world would be mine well i saw the sky reaching forever on and i planted my flag among the clouds but as i lay here, none of that matters now

i remember being born yesterday and here i am, just as useless as before i was glad to have a moment to myself in the desert i always dreamed about

all i think about is your lips on my throat and your hands pull my hair back it never felt so good to be told no to be denied something i couldn't take

i think back to that night and regret it was fine till you chose to speak tainted everything that came before ruined it all with your hands on your knees

still i lay here and remember you above and me below, like i was always meant to be but you'll call me over and we'll do it again because you never did mean what you said

there's nothing new here for me to see nothing left that i haven't felt before i have nothing left for you to take from me and these words are melting into one another

i look into the stars and trace the path we'd take knowing that i'll always be stuck on earth with you i know better than to question the things you do but still, i can't help but ruin the only thing i have left

i opened my eyes and watched you carefully i opened my mouth and chose to speak honestly i realized the mistake i made far too late the open mouth will always lead to another end

i've only ever wanted to be perfect for you but each drip of blood you bleed is too much for me looking down at my hands sewing shut images of you just asking why this doesn't bring me joy anymore

we could've shared a bed in the middle of the summer and sweat until our bodies fused with one another but nothing i have left to say matters anymore i was just banking on the fact that you still care

we're not too different, and maybe that's the issue because all i can see is us in ruins after another dead year sharing a pipe as our tendons lock in place for the last time mummifying ourselves just to shed another pound off

there's nothing prettier than a woman playing guitar my uncle died and left one, black and white, to me every time i play the strings break and cut me open so, uncle alton, tell me, what shall i do with you?

i pick at the strings and it's the most beautiful thing i've heard i've tuned that poor guitar more than i've played it wondering if one day i'll grab it and play it effortlessly but until that day comes i am relented to stewarding it

when i begged for attention while banging on your door did you know i dragged myself to an empty house my fingers pale and number, my lips blue and purple now all i can do is think of how you left me out there