Hoi!! I wanna start a healthy conversation. About the whole topic of Trans-Masc VS Trans-Fem
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For context I myself am 23, He/Him Trans-Masc.
I've got several Trans friends, fem and masc, and I want to make a Zine about the trans experience from both perspectives.
Theres alot of online discourse about there being a Trans-Fight / War between the "sides" and I want to try my hand at trying to explain why I think its harmful.
Now let me clarify. I know that every Trans experience is different. That's just how PEOPLE are. Nobody's ever exactly the same, because nobody ever experiences everything the same.
On one hand because of the nature of hormones. Testosterone is stronger and more "dominant" hormone. (Which is why Trans fems need T blockers more often than not to make the Oestrogen do anything) Trans fems generally are more "visibly trans" to the cis population. And yes some people LOVE that theyre visibly queer and extreamly confident and proud.
But there are others who would rather "Pass more", and fly under the radar. Because of the political climate and state of the world and how they're conditioned by transphobes etc to perceive us. Which is totally understandable. Because I too sometimes are scared for my Trans + American friends etc.
But I want to express that wanting to blend in and not be perceived is just as valid as wanting to be seen and appreciated.
Some Trans-mascs feel like they want to just be perceived as Cis-male. And while that's completely understandable (imo) there are other Trans-mascs who want to be MORE visible. (Like for example) I saw a transman on tiktok/instagram reels yesturday saying he had the ability to get key hole top surgery and be almost completely undetectable as Trans to public view. But he CHOSE to have double incision top surgery because he WANTED visible scars. / liked having visible scars.
And while I personally understand wanting to have your (cool af) top surgery scars to show off, I completely understand wanting to have no scar at and wanting to go undetected.
I don't know how I'm going expressing my feelings here. But I'm trying to say there's all this conflict of people trying to say "Trans fem/mascs have it easy"
And others saying the complete reverse!
We both have it hard in different ways.
Mascs have a problem (problem to some) of Hyper-INVISIBILITY in public
And Fems have the problem (to some) of hyper-VISIBILITY in public.
I think the fact that we "fight" on these topics just harm us all in the long run. Because its making us separate, when we should be coming together and supporting eachother.
Ive got an amazing lovely Trans mum that "adopted me" as her son because my BIO-fam arent great with queer stuff. And its been amazing to feel like part of a family where I'm seen and loved for being ME.
But I HAVE had some negative experiences in the community. And it saddens me that we all cant be friends instead of enemies.
And I know saying this may be me fitting the "Fragile man" stereotype... but I feel like some Fems can come across really fucking MEAN...
And I know they probably fit the "bitchy girl" stereotype and its just not a good mix with a fragile guy and a bitchy girl. I just feel like sometimes there should be more neutral conversations about it. Where we both discuss what we feel like is harder for us, and we both compromise yknow?
I know some trans mascs comment on trans fem posts to get more "attention" due to the hyper-INVISIBILITY But sometimes posts arents made for mutual "complaining"
We both want to post about what's hard. And it seems like fem posts get more traction on the internet for their "hyper-VISIBILITY"
But we need to stop saying "well you cant complain because ABC is easier for you"
We can both experience hardships. And express ourselves on the internet. And we dont need to pull / push eachother to get our stuff seen.
We need to acknowledge how eachother feels and support eachother!!
So maybe if you're Trans fem (for example) and you see a Trans-masc post not getting much attention you can reblog/ repost and use that to speak about eachother and uplift eachkther. And Trans-mascs. We need to help the fems too! By explaining why Anti-Trans legislation & Trans exclusion (for example the bathroom BS) is not only harmful for TRANS PEOPLE (particularly trans fems) but also cis women etc!!
We need to come TOGETHER not SEPARATE from eachother.
Otherwise what kind of "COMMUNITY" are we really??
Anyways I feel like Ive yapped enough.
Please let me know your thoughts!! I'd love to have a conversation with you all!! π©΅π₯°