I swear, I'm a writer

Theo tells his parents the truth about who Gabi is, which I wish wasn’t a surprise.

Seeing Theo’s knee jerk reaction to be an asshole win against his repulsion at being around Gabi is. Hilarious. Spent the entire first page of the chapter complaining about working with him, then immediately plays the hardass when Gabi tries to say he can’t today. He’s such a dick, I love him.

Gabi is so sweet and Theo is such a dick.

“… like he’s some baby I can’t punch in the face, because who the fuck punches a baby? That’s just messed up.” Theo.

This feels like prime set up for Theo seeing Gabi drinking one of those straws and suddenly understanding Justin’s point about them being cute. Gabi is probably going to help with the cute packaging side, or maybe he’ll bring Meli or Vivi into it as well for design.

“Wait, does that mean I am the dick?” YES. IT DOES.

Theo having his moment of clarity that his reasons for hating Gabi are all built on nothing, then immediately deciding not to think about him again, is hilarious. He’s getting there. One baby step at a time.

Oof, this is so toxic. Gabi, honey, don’t let any boy make you feel like this! It’s not worth it to always be worried about how they’re going to respond to your consideration!

They don’t even help him bring the random crap they sent him to get in?

Theo: realizes he’s being an asshole for no good reason.

Also Theo: continues to relentlessly troll this guy for no good reason.

Not Gabi thinking Theo’s hot as Theo is clowning on him.

“So maybe it’s just me.” No, Gabriel Moreno, there is nothing wrong with you. You are a capable young man who has had to hide a part of himself for years and you will find both yourself and your people. High school and being a teenager in general suck, this is not your fault.

Maybe get the anxiety and obsessive tendencies checked out sometime, though, because that feels a lot like the groundwork for another problem (that is also not your fault) in the future lmao.

Hint: if you let yourself be genuine around people they won’t feel that ‘something wrong’ and will be genuine back with you. If you are hiding a major part of yourself or refuse to be your full self, people will see that. It’s okay to be you!

I actually can’t believe Theo is offering to give Gabi a cut. Maybe he is getting better.

Have to shake that machismo, Gabi.

GABI NO

The shitty things we say to protect our own closet doors. That “I’m not gay.” is going to haunt this narrative until Gabi is out for everyone to see.

Oh, that makes sense. Soccer specifically being important to his family keeping him trapped on the team.

Gggg, the way Theo and Gabi mirror each other is so crazy. Gabi, an open book who lies about who he fundamentally is to keep his family from finding out. Theo, open about his identity but shrouds the rest of himself with lies and misdirection. The same problem in reverse, and both cause them to hurt those around them.

Theo, you have constructed a mask purely created to push people away. And you wonder why your parents assume you pushed the guy you point most of that toward away.

‘Gabi turned out to be a huge homophobe’ I love teenagers so much. I wish making a low-level ignorant comment like that had been considered hugely homophobic 12 years ago, when I was in high school.

“My weekends are usually pretty busy with the shop or school or friends, but now it feels like everything’s hollow, and I’m not needed anywhere.” Theo! You have consistently been an asshole to everyone who has spoken to you throughout the entirety of this book!

Even when he’s trying to be nice to people, he wraps it back around to being kind of a dick. When you make it clear you don’t want anything to do with your family’s shop, your parents aren’t going to want your dour-ass help anymore. When you constantly snipe at your friends and order them around, maybe hanging out with them feels less like friendship and more like work.

Being a teenager is hard. Especially when you’re dealing with high expectations and managing different aspects of yourself—while also discovering more aspects of yourself all the time. It can feel like spinning plates on a tightrope because nothing slows down for you.

Still, sometimes the answer is to try to see the god damn bright side every once in a while!

And the answer definitely isn’t to just run away from it all!

I just imagined what would happen if Gabi came out to Theo here. It would make sense coming from Gabi ‘nonononono I’m not homophobic! I’m just gay and panicked! Please let me keep helping you help me help you!”

I can see it so clearly. Theo’s brain would literally just snap in half, I think. He’d think, ‘of course this guy is the only other gay guy in a hundred mile radius’ and fully crash out. More than he already is, I mean.

Oh my gosh, Gabi is so sweet and polite.

I think meeting Theo’s parents will be good for Gabi. Their family dynamics are so different, and Gabi is so used to parents that he cannot fathom disappointing that seeing a family that is more open about the fact that yes! Family will be frustrated and disappointed with each other and it can still be okay! You can be something other than what your parents always want without that being a massive deal.

I really hope his parents aren’t awful when he comes out. His mom seems to know something is up, but you never know.

No, your arguing stopped Gabi before he could try the food! They need to start eating each others’ food!

OH MY GOD HE DID IT HE SAID IT GO GABI GO

Thank god, I was wrong. Thank you for being normal about this, Theo.

This is actually the story of how Theo learned to stop comparing himself to his brother all the time. It’s also the story of how Gabi learned to stop comparing himself to who he thinks his parents want him to be. These stories just happen to be held within both boys’ first semi-toxic romance.

“Something about him coming out to me makes him feel like—I don’t know—a real person? Does that make me an asshole?” No more of an asshole than any other teenager realizing the depth inside of the people around them. Now you need to apply this to all of the other people in your life.

He is! He’s applying it to the rest of the soccer team right now! This whole paradigm shift really is hitting him hard.

Knowing he’s gay really does fit every piece into the puzzle that is Gabriel Moreno for him, though. He instantly sees through Gabi’s behavior in soccer practice and his other awkward habits, too. Plastering who he thinks he’s supposed to be over who he really is and hoping no one notices.

I can already tell the emotional climax of this book is going to make me cry.

Oh, Meli is going to feel put out from all this. Suddenly skipping out on Homecoming stuff, seemingly just to hang out with a boy who has hated him forever. We haven’t even seen him talk to Meli since chapter six!

I love seeing this nicer side of Theo, you can really tell he’s trying to be less of a shit to Gabi.

They must. Eat each others’ food. Theo hasn’t gotten as close as Gabi did, but you can’t just keep teasing me like this, Lee!

Gabi is such a dork. French maid costumes—don’t let Theo hear those thoughts. Oh, definitely don’t let Theo hear those thoughts!

I feel so bad for Vivi in this. He’s just ignoring her T^T

Get your crowbar out, Gabi, you’ll need it if you want to get through that door. You’ve done good work on him so far, but he’s still got a ways before he’ll let you in much further.

“I don’t have a crush on Theo Mori.” You were fantasizing about kissing him in a maid outfit in the previous scene, Gabi. It’s a bit late for this now.

I wonder… will Gabi end up doing the dance he’s been working on with Lady at Homecoming? Maybe at the game, where his parents will see? Coming out strong, as himself? I need to see him get his chance to dance and show himself in front of people who care about him.

Yessss… follow the feelings and go hang out with Gabi.

“Something in my chest feels a little lighter upon seeing him, but I would never tell him that.” !!! Maybe you should! Be emotionally honest with even one person in your life!

“Axolitters”, “axamanders” good god.

“‘… you’re putting all that weight on yourself ‘cause you’re scared of leaving, and you’re punishing yourself for wanting to.’” That’s what I’m saying!

Gabi being blinded by the first actual, genuine smile of Theo’s. He’s paused pretty much every time Theo smiled, but we all know this is his favorite one, right? The real, raw, secret one he gives him here?

Gabi, you perfect, scheming meddler. You could have helped carry the fridge, but damn.

Meli is going to be so mad when she finds out about this. He’s not only not doing anything to help with Homecoming, he’s using her passes to do the thing that he keeps flaking on her for. For a guy who, last she checked, wished Gabi didn’t exist. Not a good look.

He’s so happy to have done a Good, Helpful Thing for Theo. This is gonna bite all of them in the ass so fucking hard.

Theo: quick, he’s saying nice things about me! How do I stop him before he can make me question the person I’ve convinced myself I am??

Instructions unclear, almost kissed the fool instead of telling him to shut up.

“… for a moment there, it felt like maybe he was going to—no, I’m probably making it up.” YOU grabbed HIM!

Theo being unable to concentrate on what Gabi is saying because he can’t stop thinking about Gabi and what happened in the dance room is so adorable. Gabi’s not the only one getting flustered, even if Theo is categorically allergic to admitting to it.

They’re so disgustingly cute and messy, I love them.

It’s THOMAS.

“Is she praising me? I don’t think she’s ever done that before.” Yeah, no wonder he has a complex.

YES. It starts with the café con leche and soon you’ll have a whole fusion menu as your customer base mixes everything up.

Justin is also getting sick of being shaded out of whatever is going on with Theo and Gabi. No one else realizes what exactly it is because Justin still thinks Gabi is a homophobe and Gabi doesn’t feel like he can tell Meli about his problems right now. They’re icing everyone else out without even thinking about it.

Gabi! Justin will not appreciate your meddling and scheming ways interfering with his situationship! Listen to Theo, even if Theo is very much not picking up that this is not only about Clara. It looks like Theo’s paying less attention to the guy who’s been on his side forever for a dude who 1. he hated until three weeks ago and 2. Justin still thinks is a bigoted asshole. Just stay out of his business.

Now you’re coming up with joke restaurant names together and ignoring your long-time friend.

~~

That’s the end of week two of May’s book club. I am chomping at the bit to keep reading, and hopefully I’ll be on time next week.

I don’t even know what to say that I haven’t already gushed about above. Gabi and Theo are both hopeless in their own ways. Gabi needs to learn how to stand up for himself and Theo still needs to work on being less of a dick to everyone he knows.

They also need to work on their tunnel vision so they don’t drive the friends they have away in their new culinary and hopefully romantic ventures. They got so close to kissing, so we know it’s coming soon. Right? Right??

How are you sitting with our boys this week? Do you think those chunky boba straws are cute, or do you not see the appeal? Where do you draw the line when it comes to respecting your elders, even when they are being cruel to you? How do you balance expectations with who you really are and who you want to be?