brisk walk enjoyer

Unironically, this is why society would crumble without diversity

*puts my cigarettes out on you*

*wuickly smokes it all before you can reach me*

oh a wise guy huh? *rolls up my sleeves* why I oughta…

*wuickly rolls your sleeves back down before you can hit me*

see I really want a motorbike (they are sexy and cool and fast) but the thing is I really enjoy being alive and I feel like a motorbike might get in the way of the whole “being alive” thing

the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive

just remembered that my middle school bullies were named Chase and Hunter. what was up with that. what was going on there.

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

im swimming at the lake and accidentally kicked a fish. this has never happened in my many years of swimming. sorry man

I have the worlds widest fattest fuck of a cat and he has an underbelly that begs to be bothered akin to a glowing video game weak point

@victoriansecret I found your friend!!!