We are all fucking FRUIT

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

Imagine being the gays at a pride event in 2004 living their lives when someone grabs the microphone and announces to the room that Ronald Reagan was pronounced dead. Can you even imagine the hype, the celebration, the pure elation

This is the Pride Month that It will happen. I feel it in my gay bones

this pride month we’re all going to be radically pro transgender. or else.

My most socially disabling Too Woke thing is noticing how men won't get the fuck out of your way. Like it doesn't even occur to them that they can move out of your fucking way. I need to start letting them just walk directly into me and pushing their chairs so I can quite literally sit at the table etc. This isn't a metaphor I had that second one happen the other day

I will be at the function where everyone's sitting in a circle and there will be a man sitting directly in front of me for no fucking reason so I'm literally physically kind of pushed off to the side. And I'm expected to not start killing them about it

Every day is a million tiny little things telling me I'm supposed to be subservient by default and it pisses me off. And it's probably getting worse specifically because I'm butching it up and it's threatening to them so they have to push a little bit harder. I am also typically there with my girlfriend #MyGirlfriend and The Men have such a whole weird competitive complex about that. They hate when they're losing the figurative dick measuring contest. I'M not one of them so I'm not even supposed to be there. And all of this is happening subconsciously so if I point it out then I'm the big mean dyke

there should be a cool, chill way to say things like “I’m struggling” or “I’m having a hard time” that doesn’t imply you might have needs

I really can’t believe I’ve been on this hell site for 8 years

Impart me in your wisdom of ancient times

one time there was a tumblr user with the url “pizza” and she would just comment on any text post about pizza saying “omg that’s me” and then we found out she had an entire tag dedicated to saying the n word

One time somebody paid $750 for the url ‘hi’ and got deleted in less than a year for promoting weight loss scams

too much to document, but god damn we can try

Seeing that this was from 2019 is like how ancient Egypt had people who studied even more ancient versions of Egypt.

I just love buffy so much because where else are you gonna get "a main character's gay realisation arc begins when her evil vampire clone tries to get it on with her"?? nobody is doing it like my silly vampire show...

me about any album I’m listening to at any given moment: holy shit. This may be The Album of All Time

the thing about being bullied for being weird as a kid is that even if you've always embraced being weird your brain is still always looking for the line where it's too much. you can be as proudly and intentionally weird as you want and you can love being weird but your mind is still convinced there's a point where you get too weird and people start treating you like a weird looking bug again. also it feels like you reach that point 500 times a day even if everyone you've spoken to today found you pleasant and likable and even if you're completely alone in your house with nobody looking at you at all.