ah fuck it

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

"no one is arguing hrt for kids" i ammmm<3

*takes a drag of a candy cigarette* I never thought I would make it to this many

you want me so bad it makes you look Intelligent and good taste

the wisdom ive learnt is that becoming part of a friend group 1) takes a long time and 2) involves a lot of feeling awkward and left out at first. there’s nothing terrible about this but if you grew up chronically lonely or have any kind of trauma relating to social isolation this likely feels Really Wrong and activates danger signals. but both fortunately and unfortunately it’s just how becoming close to new people works most of the time

another thing that was not intuitive to me as someone who grew up an autistic loner: basically everyone on the planet is starved for connection all the time and almost everything people do is an attempt to reach out to another. most seemingly illogical interactions and behaviours can be explained by this. you have to take as many of these invitations as you can. even if you're wrong you still attempted to bring more warmth into the world

picking the torture option and the next day the first thing he does right off the bat is make me eat a really big live spider

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped

Thats not what "here comes the airplane" is referring to. The phrase "here comes the airplane" is something parents (supposedly) say when feeding fussy infants. The joke is that it looks like someone is gently feeding her a battery, not that a battery causes airplanes or whatever yall thought

I hate the like, modern tiktokification of CAPTIONS. Flashing one word at a time super quickly, usually with some annoying bouncy effect on each word. Put the entire goddamn sentence (or appropriate chunk of the sentence) on the screen and let me read.

who wanna be friends with drawbacks

friends with consequences