lions and men

why is explaining a villains sad backstory always taken as an effort toward excusing their actions. why does the conversation need to involve the question of excusing anything rather than just making their present behavior way more interesting by complicating their feelings or their motivations. why is acknowledging complicated feelings or motivations taken as apologism in and of itself. why is everyone so incredibly boring

anne boyer “the harm will come: it never doesn’t” / julia armfield “to watch a horror movie is to know that something bad is going to happen. to have a body is really the same thing” / hilary mantel “we don’t have to invite pain in, it’s waiting for us: sooner rather than later” / marie howe “you know how we’ve been waiting for the big pain to come? I think it’s here. I think this is it. I think it’s been here all along” / gregory orr “I want to go back to the beginning. we all do. I think: hurt won’t be there. but I’m wrong” / toni morrison “the hurt was always there” / torrey peters “pain that had to be endured, withstood, pain that was the same as being alive, and so without end”

#that one line from sharp objects … #do you ever feel like bad things are going to happen and you can’t stop them? you can’t do anything you just have to wait?

#THE lake mungo quote #I feel like something bad is going to happen to me. I feel like something bad has happened. it hasn’t reached me yet but it’s on its way

not writing, not not writing, but a secret third thing

letting my stories spin around my head like a microwave

epic that anxiety is not confined to the brain and just poisons every inch of the body. stomach. chest. neck. shoulders. everywhere else. really really cool