just stay different

shaking women by their shoulders with all my strength, screaming YOU DONT NEED TO GET PERMISSION TO BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE!!!!

you can choose to break up with someone for any reason. and it’s your choice. you’re allowed. you don’t need to ask for permission. you don’t even need to do it in person. you won’t get in trouble. in fact, most of the time you’ll be in trouble for fucking staying.

Anybody else love making coffee and doing fuck all

something really really bittersweet about ilya correcting david to call him by his first name when david calls him rozanov. like. for years and years it’s been hollander and rozanov. big bad rozanov, the arch rival. but when shane and ilya finally come clean, ilya’s stepping into it completely. we’re lovers. i love your son. i’m not this cocky person you see on television, i’m not even the player you see on the ice, rozanov, 81, captain of the boston raiders. i’m not the guy you’ve cursed and badmouthed — i swear, that’s not all i am. i’m also the man that loves your son. this thing we have, i’m in it for the long haul. i want to be a part of your family one day, maybe. and so i want you to call me by my first name, the name my mother gave me, the name your son keeps safe in his mouth. ilya.

I just think, based on the way Ilya had his hand down his pants for the entirety of the Boston conversation, that after he and Shane are settled in their relationship his relaxation always includes somewhat inappropriate Shane touching. They're watching a movie with Shane resting on his chest? Ilya's hand is on his bare ass, fingers playing along the crease where his butt becomes his thigh, occasionally lifting the cheek and letting it go just to feel it jiggle. Shane's on the couch reading? Ilya's crawling between his legs and resting his head in the crease of his thigh. Shane's cuddled up with his back against Ilya's chest? Ilya's hand is resting on that man's cock. It's not necessarily sexual, it's not consciously possessive (although it is subconsciously possessive in that Shane's body is his to touch in whatever way he wants), that's just how he's most comfortable.

Meanwhile, Shane Oral Fixation Hollander always has some part of Ilya in his mouth. So they're cuddled up, Ilya's right hand on Shane's ass, the left one in his mouth and it's become so normal that neither one of them gives it a second thought. There's definitely a time or two where they accidentally do it around other people, like they're watching a scary movie with the Pikes and don't realise that Shane's had two of Ilya's fingers in his mouth for the past ten minutes until Hyden catches it out of the corner of his eye and goes "dude, what the fuck??" or they're heading back with the Cens after a series of away games and they're cuddled up on the plane, both half asleep, when Ilya's hand just makes its way down Shane's pants to rest in the crease of his groin and when Troy says "Roz, you'll be home in like two hours, can't that wait?" neither one of them realises what he's even referring to.

Me when a man is actually charming: he's at minimum bisexual. don't lie to me

Also who wants to talk about aftercare for Shane and Ilya like just imagine post cottage, as boyfriends now having their hookups but there’s 💫love💫 there now and they are allowed to acknowledge it now. Like I live to think of the transition to remembering they can linger and care and adore. Thinking of Ilya just showering Shane in praise and touch and love and Shane being able to stay blissed out in subspace and syrupy and soft eyed and settled for a long stretch, strung along by Ilya staying inside him, petting his skin in big open hand touches, kissing him slow and dizzying. Big brown eyes gazing up at Ilya like he’s the only thing in the world, slow blinks. Ilya telling him he’s so good and sweet and Ilya’s and so beautiful and how good this is - the sex they have, like nothing else has ever been. Sappy sweet loving and touching and nuzzling and clinging

Please stop asking me how I’m doing, I have no idea, I’m actually trying to ignore it

You have to let people love you. You have to let people get to know you. You have to let people help you. Being so completely selfless that you try to erase yourself off the face of the planet and never ask for anything and reject everybody's offers of support makes you very hard to love! Unfortunately. Emptying yourself out of everything that makes you, you is not actually what your loved ones want from you, generally. They want to make you happy! They will be so so sad if you don't give them the chance. It's not all selfish. I promise.