i hate it when you're heating something up in the microwave and it starts to go snap crackle pop so you take it out but it's still completely cold. shut up then??

Only one of my hips lies

...and the other one always tells the truth!

can’t eat green vegetables and can’t go outside for fresh air i always knew i wanted to live like a mistreated studio apartment dog

masculine energy this feminine energy that. well i’m out of energy

need me some of this "renewable energy" I keep hearing about

[Image description: Drawn poster of a cat holding onto a branch for dear life and wailing miserably, captioned: "Hang in there baby. You can cry, you can cuss, but you gotta hold on." End description.]

living under a rock is so fun i love watching a movie that’s been famous for decades and being like wow this is so good.. did you guys know about this

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

finally reading persuasion. late 20s girlfailures constantly yearning after missed connections RISE UP

frederick treating anne increasingly tender while anne is growing more confident in his presence is making me scream cry throw up pull my hair out bang the walls roll on the ground etc etc. jane austen put crack cocaine in this shit!

HIS LETTER IS SO FUCKING CRAZY ACTUALLY .