MirrorMirror On The Wall Give Me Torture Cock&Ball

Man Im sorry for snapping at you , uts just that I only got 8 hours of sleep last night and I only had like, two pandcakes with strawberrys and whipped cream and like three premium sausags for breakfast

does it mean a girl likes you if she builds a labyrinth around your house

Yes but in the way an entomologist likes a colorful beatle.

[nods] she wants to fuck it. bad.

I gave your post a like but with nuance and depth

We call those reblogs

I gave your post a reblog with flippant apathy

I don't care if they're the highest grossing movies on planet freakin Earth, you say "Avatar" and everyone and their mom still thinks that bald little bitch and his magic cow. Soggy James can keep his millions, he'll never have the streets.

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

Trouts will be like, “Is anyone else gonna lay their entire body weight on you and sink their claws into your boobs?” and not wait for an answer

tomorrow im developing my theory of tuesday

it's already tuesday

just as i theorized.

when jimmy fallon dies theyre incorporating his ashes into a ben and jerrys limited time flavor

so fucking sick of this shit. mommy just put the key to my cock cage in fucking escrow until i pay off my crushing suckpig debt

t’es woke toi 😦🫵 toi t’es un woke left😔🙄 tu supporte les trans pis les pronoms toi 🤨🏳️‍⚧️ veux-tu savoir mes pronoms? 🥱🔥 mes pronoms? 😳😤 que/bec. fran/çais. bar/be/que. go/habs/go.🍁🏒 bleu pis rose 💙🌹 toi c’est quoi tes pronoms? vas-y. dis moj tes pronoms?🧐😪 joe/bi/den? ru/paul? 🤭😒 j’vas prier pour toi 🫤🙏

When I was in middle school, I really wanted a rat and my mama got me one before I had the chance to do any research, and I named him Mildew, and then I learned that rats get all fucked up if they don't have a buddy, so I got him a brother and I named the brother Dildew. Something to consider if you are currently pregnant with twins.

We rly need to bring back the term “acquaintance” like into regular and frequent use. So many high drama community squabbles and feelings of betrayal could be avoided if people just admitted there’s a step between “stranger” and a full on friend whose friendship you have a commitment to continuing and fostering. Like sometimes you’re just aquatinted with someone and you might decide you don’t like them after getting to know them a bit better…that’s very normal