VVelcome

did laundry and showered today you knowwwww i'm hitting that clean sheets clean jammies clean me trifecta tonight

bro im bedcelled. im comfypilled. im literally cozymaxxing.

​honkpilled shoomaxxer

straight up "snorkin' it". and by "it" haha, well. let's just say. mimimi

i would like to officially thank sesame for its seeds, its oil, and of course its street

happy pride moth

when you show up to the met gala you should immediately be faced with a panel of fashion experts and art historians before you even get to the red carpet and you have to explain your outfit choice and why it is on theme for that year’s event like you are defending a phd and if you can’t produce a coherent defence they turn you away at the door and the people of manhattan are allowed and encouraged to throw rotten produce at you as you get back into your car in shame

Bonus: If I buy a book I get to keep it! The publisher can't turn up at my house at random and confiscate all the books I bought.

has anyone figured out how to turn off the thing where you love your pet so much it slides inexorably into grief-borrowing

“For me this glass is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds my water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it. But when I put this glass on the shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, ‘Of course.’ When I understand that the glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious.”

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

Bear religion probably fucking rocks. You're a fucking bear, you're the deadliest thing on earth, once a year an endless supply of salmon just flings itself up the river to gorge on and then you nap for 3 months.

This is the COOLEST thing I’ve seen in AGES. You both completely made my entire week.

Literally the definition of imperialism and classism. Doesn’t matter how many peasants you sacrifice as long as the most powerful piece is left standing

Proximity of bishops to the rulers promotes theocratic oppression

the horse is so fuckable

#listen #listen do u know how much braining it takes to make the words go? #it is a lot #it’s like wearing fancy clothes all day #and then when you’re at home and comfy #u just put on ur pj’s ( @feynites)

I have never related to a statement more than “do you know how much braining it takes to make words go?”