Absolute Guy of All Time

I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually

staring at the dessert menu and twirling my hair and going "should I be baaaaddd" until the autistic girl I'm eating with says "there is nothing bad about eating dessert. it is a morally neutral action"

walking into the pissing me off factory then being surprised when I get pissed off

Everyone say thank you sanitation workers we owe you our lives sanitation workers

nosferatu? no. tuferatu. no es mi problema.

no mi circo no mis feratus

I think instrumence should be free for those who are pure of heart

u should be able to put ur hand down and let the instrument sniff u and if it smells a beautiful quality in ur heart and spirit that's ur instrument now. stray tumpet follow you home.. bwaa

the french beatles

jean, paul, george, et ringeaux

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

happy june everybody i hope you get fucked and/or sucked this month

what if we don't wanna be?

do you guys remember when we used to say oh worm all the time. remember that

is anybody out there

sometimes i have strong opinions but they're also so inane that halfway through writing a post i'll be like "yeah, this is Absolutely not worth the energy it's taking" and delete everything. but then the opinion is still in my head. and i still want to share it. so within five minutes i go "you know, i bet i can phrase it more succinctly this time" and anyway. you all see where this is going. sometimes i do this four times in a row before i give up on the specific inane opinion and instead write a vague post about the concept of opinions as if that'll satisfy the urge to post the entirety of my inner monologue online. may or may not be relevant to what you're reading right now. and now all our lives have been enriched. you're welcome

Do you ever wanna bond with someone so bad you’re like “damn i wish we were knights on a dangerous quest”